BETTER

Chapter 21

Sam

I look at her from across our table where me and Lizzie are seated, she looks alright I guess, I mean she has to be alright...... she was the one who broke up with me.

The one thing that bothers me though is that nerd, even after I've warned him he has the audacity to hang out with my girl.

She's not your girl anymore stupid!

I want to go over there and tell him off, he can't be hanging out with Ana like this but I decide against it because I know it'll only make Ana more angry.

I don't think I've ever felt this way about someone but not having her by my side feels......  I don't know it doesn't feel good though, it was like when I had her it meant nothing to me, but now that she's gone I feel..... I feel bad and I actually miss her.

"What are you thinking babe?" Lizzie asks putting her arm around my shoulder "Don't" I warn her.

"We're not dating or anything so don't call me names" I say, she should learn to behave, yes we're having a child together but I am in no way romantically involved with this woman, will I support her through the pregnancy? Of course I will and I'll always support our child, be it emotionally or financially but I can never make Lizzie my girlfriend.

"You didn't mind when I called you names while you were making love to me" she snaps, she really does know how to get on someone's nerves.

"You mean fucking you?" I ask harshly and she just rolls her eyes at me "No, that was a different situation" I continue and she stands up enraged by my words.

Fuck. Now she wants to create a scene in a fucking restaurant infront of everyone, great!

"Sam you need to learn how to behave with the woman who's carrying your child!" she exclaims and people from other tables start staring at us, many of them giving me that disgusted look.

"For fuck's sake Liz, I am behaving, it's just you who forgets her boundaries and crosses the line all the fucking time" I fire back.

I stand up in anger and look around to find Ana but she's nowhere to be seen, she must've left with that fucker.

I curse under my breath and leave Lizzie standing there, I'm sure she has enough money to pay for the meal she ordered for herself.

I was angry, so angry that all I could right now was red.

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Ana

"Are you alright?" Blake asks for what seems like the hundredth time "I swear if I knew he was going to be there with her I wouldn't have taken you there" he explains and I brush him off.

"It's fine Blake, trust me. I know you wouldn't have taken me there if you knew Sam was gonna be there" I say waving my hand.

We're back at my apartment which looks more like the apartment it used to be a week ago, all thanks to Blake and his superb cleaning techniques.

"So should we order pizza?" he asks and I suppress the giggle that tries to leave my mouth, he looks so adorable, almost like an innocent child.

"Yea sure" I say and he takes out his phone to order.

Last week was such a huge mistake, I let my emotions control me and I really wish I could go back in time to fix my mistakes.

I'm glad that I finally ended the toxic relationship I had with Sam but what happened afterwards between me and Blake was something that shouldn't have happened, he's such a nice guy and I don't want to lead him on, I don't want him to think that we have a shot.

After Sam I don't think I'm going to be able to date anyone for a very very long time because it still hurts whenever I look at him, I might act like it didn't affect me but seeing him with that bitch at the restaurant didn't make me feel angry, it just made me feel sad and hurt and I can't land myself in another relationship when the memory of Sam still haunts me in my dreams.

"What are you thinking?" Blake asks and I decide that I need to make things clear between him and I.

"Blake I need to tell you something" I say and watch his face fall a little "Yea sure" he says back and I take a deep breath before starting my long speech.

"Me and Sam were together for almost two years and...... and I don't think I'll be able to date anyone for a very long time, the wounds caused by him are still too fresh and they'll take a long time to heal" I explain.

"What do you mean?" he asks innocently and I sigh.

"What I mean is that what happened between me and you last week was something that shouldn't have happened, I don't want to lead you on and then leave you...... we both feel something for each other, that's very clear but I don't think I can be with anyone for a long time after going through the toxic relationship I had with Sam" I explain and see realisation sink in on his face.

"I need you, I really do..... but as a friend because Sam..... he still haunts my memories, his betrayal and abuse are still fresh in my mind and I don't want to jump in another relationship because I'm scared, too scared to experience it all over again" I say and look down not having the courage to look him in the eye, I'm a horrible person.

"Firstly, if I were ever your boyfriend I wouldn't have treated you the way that jerk did and secondly, I know you are not ready for me, or anyone else in that matter..... you've been through a lot and I'll never force you to be with me....... I'll always be there for you because we seem to have some sort of special connection with each other, but as a friend" he says with a small smile and I look up at him in surprise.