Chapter 33

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    Grey had worked out a deal that he would go down every other week come the beginning of construction, to begin with things like hiring and designing. He hired a professional Designer to help with the project and had spent a good amount of his time on FaceTime with her to set everything up.

She seemed really cool, super sweet, nice and everything. Delta and Dylan didn't seem to like the idea that he was spending so much time talking to a woman in a city that he would be going to alone every other week. I knew there was nothing to worry about however, Grey and I had been through a lot, cheating wasn't even a worry of mine.

It had been a week since the fight and even longer since the entire incident at TI. I was convinced that the entire Rae situation was behind us, her name barely passed my thoughts now. She was brought up at therapy every now and then but other than that her name was gone, almost as if she, herself was gone as well. Grey and I resumed a new 'normal' as I got used to him going away every other weekend and being alone.

    We worked out an agreement that when I could, I was going to go with him, being away from him was hard but I knew that once i was done with school and everything settled we would be fine, we just had to wait it out.

    It had been a month almost, Grey was coming home on Monday morning at some insane time and I was cleaning the flat to prepare for his arrival again. II had gotten used to cleaning, it was my stress activity and with assignment numbers going up I needed to focus more on school than anything else right now. I just couldn't seem to get my head into the right space for it, so i would clean, and then clean again, and a third time just to make sure it was actually cleaned.

    Seth had been around a lot more now, mostly because i was still going to "school' at TI. Though I think I was close to going back to actual campus, I missed the twins and I missed Dakota even a little bit.

    It had been awhile since I had seen or heard from her, not since everything felt weird, but I was beginning to think it was all in my head, with Rae out of the way I could go back to focusing on school and my relationship.

    "So, have you guys talked anymore about getting engaged?" Dylan asked as she dipped her spoon into the tub of ice cream she was currently cradling like a newborn baby. Delta was over as well, sitting next to her on the island as they ate out of the same tub. I, however, was not eating ice cram, but doing an assignment that was due at midnight tonight.

    I shrugged and looked at the time, 11 pm. I wasnt half done and I had an hour. "Guys I'm concentrating."

    "No, you're avoiding the question." Delta chimed in, grinning as she pulled the metal spoon out of her mouth.

    "You're ridiculous, no we haven't talked about it recently, he knows how I feel and thats it. I'm not pushing it, not after that huge fight we had over L.A." I didnt want to bring it up at all to him actually, I was scared he had changed his mind.

    It was something my therapist and I had talked about a lot recently, whether or not we were still going to get engaged. Of course I wanted to marry Grey, but did he feel the same way knowing that I wasnt wiling to alter my future to fit his? He has altered his so many times to fit me.

    I know everything we went through was hard, but this was life, and did I want to travel? Sure! Of course I would love to go see the world, maybe with a baby one day with us, but it was to soon. We werent married and I didnt want to prance off to the other side of the country unless I was married and know that this was it. Of course I knew that was it with Grey but that fight had me thinking now. What if I was wrong?

    Relationships always scared me because what if he wakes up one day and decides that he doesn't love me anymore, or something else comes up. What if he decides that he doesn't want kids, that would ruin our relationship. You cant come back from one wanting kids and the other not. It doesn't work. Ive thought it through to many times to count.

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