Handling a Crisis

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Kids Are(n't) Alright

It was a pleasantly-calm morning in the United States household. Sunlight filtered through curtains and blinds. The muffled sounds of birds chirping outside made their way into the house, their songs not loud enough to be a nuisance. Meanwhile, America's kids were all sound asleep in their beds.

Hawaii was one of the first ones up. She yawned and stretched while laying down. Feeling satisfied and a little more awake, she sat up.

That's how she knew something was wrong.

Hawaii held back a yelp as she quickly laid back down and pulled her blanket over her chest. It was then that she realized her bed was also smaller than it was the night before. She patted herself down and felt things she most certainly didn't have before going to sleep last night and hasn't had since 1959.

Her first thought was Yes, I don't have to go through puberty again! Her second thought, she voiced: "He aha ka mea i hana iaʻu? (What happened to me?)"

To her side, she heard a deep, tired groan. "Vho's zat?"

Hawaii turned her head and saw Alaska shift in bed. "Alaska, it's me, Hawaii."

Alaska let out a loud yawn as he sat up and stretched. "No vay–" He cut himself off, registering the fact that his voice was deeper. "Vhat ze Бля- (fu-)?"

Hawaii heard something flop down on Samoa's bed. "Whoever you guys are, shu-" She watched as Samoa quickly shot up, putting a hand on his throat. "Thaaat's not my voice," he said.

Puerto Rico sat up in bed. "What's going–?" He let out a surprised yelp and rolled off his bed. "¡Oh Dios mío! (Oh my God!)"

"Ow!" NASA growled. NASA quickly lifted her head off her pillow, sending the feathers lying on her head flying off. She looked around. "Okay, two things. One, what the hell happened to us? And two, oh my God, there's so many feathers in here."

As NASA finished her statement, Virgin Islands, Guam, Mariana Islands, and SpaceX all woke up. They stared at their siblings, shocked at what they were seeing.

They were all adults.

"Okay, so, uh, does anyone know if Louisiana did any voodoo last night or something?" Mariana Islands asked.

Guam frowned and looked at Mariana Islands. "I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," he told his sibling.

"I was born literally less than two months ago," SpaceX brought up, putting his hands on his head. "Why am I an adult?"

"Is everyone else going through the same thing or is it just us?" Samoa wondered.

As if on cue, shouts could be heard from the other kids' rooms.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Maine shrieked.

"I'M A MAN AGAIN!" Wyoming screamed.

"Oh God, I'M A WOMAN!" Nevada wailed.

"OH MY HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Indiana yelled.

Meanwhile, downstairs, America and Confederacy looked at each other. They were in the middle of preparing breakfast when they heard all the commotion. After exchanging confused and concerned looks, they turned towards the stairs.

"The hell do you think is goin' on up there?" Confederacy wondered.

"I think we're about to find out," America replied.

A few seconds later, the large crowd that was America's kids stampeded down the stairs, most of them wrapped in blankets. The two country brothers stared at the sight of America's now fully-grown kids gathering in the living room, talking over each other, confused as hell.