Handling a Crisis

Chapter Twenty-One: Russia Learns More About America

It is five am, but I can't sleep 'cause my parents are being shitty, so I finished this!

Chapter warning: description of an eye injury. I'll put warnings around it so you can skip it if you want. Nothing important happens in that section of text, so I won't put a summary of what was said in there.

All of America's kids had gathered in the living room in six groups. Russia stared at them in awe. There were so many of them. Well, he expected there to be a lot of people since America had fifty states and some of his territories and organizations were personified, but the amount of people was still a little overwhelming.

Great situation to be in when you're socially awkward, right?

"Alright, let's start with the northeast states, shall we?" America asked. "This is Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland." He gestured to each state as he said their name and each state waved at Russia.

"My southern states are Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arizona, West Virginia, Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Florida."

Russia could already feel himself panicking. Which state was which again? Why did they all have to look so similar? And how did America say that one name? Missyppippi? Mispipi? Huh? Wait, what? And was one of them really named Georgia?

America didn't seem to notice and continued introducing Russia to his children. "In the midwest are Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, Missouri, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, and North Dakota.

Подожди, есть две Вирджинии, две Каролины и две Дакоты, верно? (Wait a minute, there's two Virginias, two Carolinas, and two Dakotas, right?) Russia thought.

"To the west, we have Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, Utah, Nevada, California, and you already know Hawaii and Alaska."

"My personified territories are Guam, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, American Samoa, and Mariana Islands."

Подождите, он сказал, что есть другая Вирджиния? (Wait, did he say there's another Virginia?)

"And finally, we have Washington DC, NASA, and SpaceX. NATO's also my son, but he's not here. I'm pretty sure he's at his house, but I'm not too sure. He can't be at a meeting since I was never told we were having one." America looked at Russia's slightly-panicked expression and laughed. "Don't worry; I'll get you a list."

"Как вы отслеживаете всех? (How do you keep track of everyone?)" Russia asked.

"American magic," America replied while doing jazz hands. Everyone laughed. "Now c'mon, let's go have breakfast."

Russia joined America at his large dining table and started eating with him. A few of the states joined them, too, along with Virgin Islands and Washington DC. The kids all chatted with each other while Russia and America talked.

"So, vho else knows about yourrr kids?" Russia asked.

"Just Philippines and Canada," America answered. "Philippines knows because they lived with us from 1898 to December 8, 1941. Canada found out because Michigan and Ohio were having a really bad argument and Michigan almost hit Canada with one of her inventions."

"I never meant to set it off!" Michigan yelled from the kitchen. "I was just trying to hit the area beside it!"

"Bullshit!" Ohio yelled back from the living room. "If I didn't have fast enough reflexes and turned it away from me, I would had a goddamned spud lodged in my chest!"