Handling a Crisis

Chapter Sixty: A Good Day for Some, But Bad For Others

Edit: translation fix

Edit 2: information correction

Chapter Warnings: murder, Vietnam War, slavery, slur against Filipinos, racism, implied rape, implied homophobia

America's kids were extremely frustrated. The number of electoral votes for Biden has remained stagnant at 264 since we last checked in on them.

Nevada walked downstairs, where he saw his siblings in the living room, staring at him. He sheepishly raised his hand and did a small wave. "Hey," he greeted them. "Hey."

"What is taking so long?" American Samoa interrogated.

Nevada sighed and slid down the stair rail to the bottom. "There's not a lot of people counting the votes."

"Yeah, okay, but why?" Nebraska questioned.

"Hell if I know! I'm just a statehuman!"

"Well, they better hurry up!" Alabama urged. "Y'all's're countin' slower than a walkin' turtle tied to a concrete buildin'! Pick up the pace!" (this is an actual phrase I've heard used (PE in the deep south is fun 🥲))

"Dude, you've taken so long, Penny and I've turned blue!" Georgia exclaimed. "At this rate, we'll be finished counting before you, and we both have bigger populations!"

Nevada pointed at her and Pennsylvania. "You guys wanna bet on that chance?"

Pennsylvania rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Nevada away. "You and your gamiling addiction."

"Hey, it's not an addiction! It's just a bet."

"Yeah, out of the millions you've made," Massachusetts brought up. "Do we need to talk?"

Just then, there was a knock on the front door. Everyone frowned in confusion. None of them were expecting anyone to come over. To solve this mystery, South Carolina stood up, walked over, and opened the door, smiling up at their guest. "Hi, Dad!" he chirped.

Russia returned his smile. "Доброе утро, South Carrrolina." He stepped inside and shut the door behind him. "Do you know vherrre Merrrik is? He asked me to kome overrr."

"Oh yeah, he's upstairs in his office." South Carolina jutted a thumb towards the stairway.

Nevada rushed over and hid behind Russia. "Hey, Dad, please help me."

Russia raised an eyebrow at him. "Help you vith vhat?"

"You know how the US president candidate needs 270 electoral votes to become president elect? And we've been at 264 for a few days now?"

"Да, vhat about it?"

"Joe Biden just needs six electoral votes, I'm turning blue, but my state hasn't finished counting, and I have six electoral votes."

"Oh, I see." Russia looked out at the kids. "Don't kome afterrr Nevada, otherrrvise, yourrr otherrr dad and I need to have a talk about vhat to do vith you guys."

Everyone started begging Russia not to get America in on this. Russia walked away, enthused, continuing his path to America. On his way up, he bumped into Confederacy, who grinned and crossed his arms. "Well, if it ain't Passia goin' to visit Momerica," he jested.

Russia huffed and rolled his eyes. "Shut up, you know ve'rrre just frrriends."

"Oh, come on! Let's be real here; ya'ven't thought of Meri as a friend in a long time."

"You know vhat? I zink you'rrre rrright."

Confederacy blinked. "Wait, what? Uh, I mean, yeah, you got that right!"