Yowzah Oneshot Collection (2)

106(G)

               Damsel in Distress

                       clare009

On Raxacoricofallapatorius she had missed him by a matter of weeks. A bubble of excitement and trepidation built up under her breast bone. She was so close to finding him again.

River Song took one last look at the swamp-pit of a planet that the Raxacoricofallapatorians called home. The sky was a purple verging on psychedelic and the mud under her feet was the unfortunate shade of vomit, but worst of all was the cloying smell of cinnamon and refuse that pervaded her senses. Time to go. She quickly entered the teleport code into her ship's remote, then tucked it into the front pocket on her trousers just as the blue beam whisked her away.

"I'm going to need a week long soak in the tub," she said as soon as the interior of her ship materialized around her. She pulled a strand of her corkscrew hair in front of her nose, then made a sound of disgust in her throat. She reeked. Unfortunately a quick blast in the sonic shower on board her ship was all she had time for.

Despite her physical state, River had a hard time keeping the grin off her face. She waltzed her way down the cramped corridor from the command deck and down to the facilities, unpacking her pockets as she went. Various weapons from laser sharp knives to tiny but deadly firearms were discarded haphazardly, but her blue diary she she brought up to her lips and kissed, sending a resounding smack echoing through the ship. She placed it reverently on a metal shelf, then continued disrobing. With a brief sigh, she stuffed her clothing into the incinerator. She had been rather fond of that outfit.

River set the shower to maximum sterilization and stepped inside. The sound waves tingled over her skin, sloughing off the dirt and stench in an effective if not completely satisfactory way. When she was done, her curls gleamed and bounced and her whole body glowed squeaky pink. She quickly threw on a pair of jodhpurs and a leather vest from the discarded pile in the corner.

Once back on the tiny command deck, River took her place in the Captain's chair in front of the full screen monitor. She gave the ship's control panel a friendly pat.

"I hope the Ambassador of Tevis doesn't miss you, dear, but I'm going to need you for just a bit longer." She grinned, remembering how easy it had been to seduce the beautiful, willowy ambassador and try out her new lipstick formula. She hoped the hallucinations were pleasant ones. Her last victim had almost died of fright - not her intended outcome.

The ship was small and functional and decorated with tasteful minimalism. It was no TARDIS, but it did have the one feature that had been a must in her chosen form of transport. River let her fingers trace over the blue orb that was the centerpiece of the ship's control panel. If she had any hope of catching up with the Doctor, then the ship's vortex manipulator was a must-have.

From the information she had gleaned from the planet, it took River a bit of number-crunching to calculate the co-ordinates of her destination. Her lips turned up in a satisfied smile as she placed her palm fully on the vortex manipulator and engaged the engines.

This time, Doctor, you won't escape me.

***

"Where to next, Rose?"

The girl chewed her lip as she turned the question over. "You know, Doctor, I've always wanted to visit Japan."

They were facing each other across the TARDIS console, bathed in the blue-green light from the time rotor in the central column.

"Japan?" Jack butted his head between the two. "We've got all of space and time and you wanna go to Japan?"

Rose shrugged, her eyes never leaving the Doctor's. "I dunno. It just sounds, you know... nice." A faint blush spread over her cheeks. "Besides, I adored Hello Kitty when I was a kid."