Yowzah Oneshot Collection (2)

49(G)

       Baby, you can drive my car

        mygalfriday (BrinneyFriday)

The car is the same color as her favorite lipstick. For a moment, she almost allows herself to believe he’d chosen it for that reason but she knows even this far along in his timestream, the thought wouldn’t have crossed his mind. He isn’t her husband yet, and only her husband would remember the color of her lipstick. Still, his taste in cars is as impressive as his taste in time machines.

River eyes the vintage red beauty glinting in the sun as they exit the diner, the Doctor rambling about the health merits of milkshakes to her parents – she shakes herself quickly – Amy and Rory as he rummages through his jacket pockets for the keys. River leans against the driver’s side to watch, running an appreciative hand over the gleaming paint job.

“It has milk,” he insists. “Anything with milk has to be good for you. It’s practically a law of the universe. And I should know because -”

“But Doctor,” Rory frowns. “Chocolate cake contains milk.”

The Doctor blinks at him. “What’s your point?”

Rory sighs – a put upon sound that River had adopted nearly the moment she said I do. “Never mind.”

“Aha!” The Doctor holds the car keys aloft and jingles them triumphantly. “Next to the bugle horn – right where I left them!”

While Rory stares at his jacket pocket and mouths bugle horn and Amy pats his shoulder in sympathy, the Doctor turns on his heel, spots River leaning against the car, hip cocked and fingers tapping idly against her holster, and scowls.

Ah, still sore about his Stetson, then.

“Excuse me.”

“You’re excused.”

She doesn’t move.

He sighs. “River, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re sort of in the way.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You don’t really think I’m letting you drive, do you?”

“Let me?” He sputters. “I am a Time Lord and I do not need your permission to drive anything.” When she purses her lips, unimpressed, he deflates. “Why not?”

“Sweetie,” she begins patiently, “You’ve been driving the TARDIS for how long and you still haven’t figured it out? This isn’t the time vortex and actual accidents are possible. I am not letting you drive a car with people on the road.” Scolding delivered, she holds out her hand for the keys, waiting for him to drop them into her palm.

The Doctor’s mouth drops open and behind him, Amy and Rory take a step back as one unit, obviously hoping to make themselves invisible. “River,” he says through gritted teeth. “This is my car.”

“Bought it, did you?”

He flounders. “Er, borrowed.”