Yowzah Oneshot Collection (2)

72(M)

a consummation devoutly to be wished

                          leiascully

A Time Lord's body was a miracle indeed, thought River as she looked into the Doctor's eyes. She'd asked a xenobiologist once what and who he was. A miracle, that was the answer she'd gotten: nearly human, but beyond. Two hearts instead of one. Able to withstand indefinitely the incredible strain of traveling through space and time. Immortal or nearly so, with the ability to regenerate, to build himself a new body out of the spare material of the universe. A miracle, standing right in front of her in his braces and his stupid bow tie.

"So tell me, River Song," he said in a low sexy voice, as if he had no idea what he did to her insides. Probably he didn't. "Tell me what it's like to have a love life. Tell me what it's like to have love."

"It's everything," she said simply. "When it's with the right one, anyway."

"How romantic of you," he murmured. "And here I thought you were so cosmopolitan. You're a hardened criminal, my girl."

"Not so hard," she said. "Everything I did was for the love of you. You'll see, someday."

"I imagine I will," he said. He picked up her hand and studied her fingers. "One day there won't be any secrets between us, River."

"One day soon," she promised him. "But not today." With her other hand she traced the line of his braces up his chest and down his belly. She tapped her nail on the metal bit. The lining of his jacket was silky against the back of her hand, but the lapped-over tweed prickled her wrist. The cloth was warm from his body. He watched her carefully, those wise eyes searching her face as she avoided his gaze.

"What will you tell me today, Doctor Song?" he asked quietly. "Because I feel funny, lately. In fact, I feel really quite odd when you're around. Sort of...off-balance. My head's all wibbly and my hearts are all wobbly. Is that what love feels like?"

"Surely you've been in love before," she said.

"It's different now," he said. "I'm him but I'm not. I'm the Doctor but I'm me. I remember I've been in love before, but I haven't been in love before. Not this time around."

"I'm not a girl for just one time around," she told him.

"No," he said. "I can't imagine." He stared at her, his lips just barely parted, his expression some combination of trepidation, anticipation, and clumsy adolescent lust. She slipped her finger under his braces and traced the length of them again, a pang of sympathy shooting through her. She had that same look, years ago, years from now, when he finally kissed her for the first time. It didn't matter when she met him: no matter how mature she was, he made her as swoony as a teenager, weak in the knees with butterflies in her stomach and the feeling that if she couldn't see him, if she couldn't touch him, if she couldn't have him, she might die.

"Have you done this before?" she asked him.

"I already said I haven't been in love this time," he reminded her.

She chuckled. "Oh, sweetie, there's love and there's this. You can have one without the other if you like."

"Humans." He considered, staring intently at her. "I have a door in my head like Rory the Roman. Lots of doors. They open and close and open and close and it's all I can do to know my own mind. I've been an awful lot of people while I was being me. I suppose I have to keep secrets from myself, or I'd never be able to fiddle the switches of a morning. Got to keep her flying, you know. Can't just be mulling things over all the time, remembering the good old days. I don't ask myself what I did when I was him. The big things, yeah, the timey-wimey bits. But not the other stuff. New face, new start. No questions asked. Or not too many. Obviously some things are a bit crucial to know. But this equipment's all new still - I only just got the teeth feeling normal."