Uneducated Submission

Broken Kisses

** Royalty's P.O.V **

I nervously bit on the eraser of my pencil, unable to focus.

Today was my first exam and although I was confident that I could pass my mind was distracted.

Neveah hadn't come home last night nor this morning. I prayed she was okay.

The bell rang and I huffed. I had barely finished.

Grabbing my stuff I decide to get something to eat before going back to my dorm, grateful that I only had 1 exam today.

I opted to eat out and headed towards the cafe not far from the university.

On my way there I tried calling Neveah again, but to no avail. I rolled my eyes, annoyed.

Would she really have stayed the night at Jaxon's?

I shook my head. She would have at least called and told me something.

Caught up in my thoughts and not watching where I was going I bump into someone.

"Sorry I-", I paused as I realised who it was.

Anxiety spiked me through my heart and I suddenly felt the urge to cry.

Stupid hormones.

Pulling away I turn to leave, when he grabs my arm.

"Royalty wait!".

I turn around wringing my hands together.

I look at him pointedly not trusting my voice at the moment.

"How are you?", he asks scratching the back of his neck.

I gape at him, "You've got to be kidding me Zane. What do you want?", I say in distatse.

How could he act like everything's fine between us.

"Can we talk, Royalty?", he asks,  looking away.

My heart pounds in my chest.

Can the earth just open and swallow me up now?

I shrug in reply, digging my nails into my hands.

"Did you want to get something from the cafe?", he asked.

I shook my head, "Not anymore", I said bitterly. I had lost all form of appetite.

He nodded and led me to his car.
I got in and we went back to campus. An unsettling silence lingered around us and stayed there till we returned to campus.

"My dorm or yours?", he said.

Unsure of whether Neveah would be back or not I opted for his.

I was anxious to say the least. What would he say? Didn't he hate me?

Entering his dorm I just stood there, growing tired of acting like things were ok.

"Make yourself comfortable".

"No. I don't think I can. Can we just get this over with?", I replied.

He turned around to face me and sighed, sitting on a barstool.

He motioned to the one next to him and I merely glanced at it, staying rooted in my spot not too far from him.

I spoke first, "Why'd you want to talk all of a sudden?"

He looked at me, his eyes searching mine.

"Would you believe me if I said I missed you?",he said with a small smile.

I stared at him. "No I wouldn't".

He frowned. "Why not?"

I pursed my lips. "Well maybe because you hate me? Or at least that's what you've been telling your little slut."

Before he could say anything it dawned on me.

"Omg. You're just saying this because you and her aren't speaking and you think you can just come back into my life with an I miss you and that pretty boy smile!".

He clenched his fist. "Royalty, that's not true. I don't understand you or why you're mad at me. YOU cheated on me! And I still forgave you for it and YOU fussed everyday. YOU made it so hard for me Royalty. And here I am again, trying to get through to you again and your so twisted you think it's some setup!"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I could feel the tears.

"I didn't mean it Zane. I never wanted to cheat on you. I was intoxicated and YOUR BESTFRIEND never stopped me. He was sober! But I still got the blame for it. You assumed I just cheated on you because of our arguement. You shunned me for years and when we saw each other again you cursed me, insulted me. Zane I love you, but I know I'm self destructive. And I never wanted to hurt you. But you hurt me by treating me like some whore.!". By the end of my rant I was sobbing.

I never meant to hurt him. But I couldn't keep pretending he didnt hurt me too.

His jaw ticked and he stepped closer to me, "I tried so hard with you Royalty,  you could have told me this earlier. You could have talked out the problems instead of acting like such a fucking pathetic bitch. All you did was drink everyday and make a fool of yourself. You made us look bad. Yet I still tried, I fucking love you Royalty  but you never talked to me ", he yelled .

I stepped back as my chest heaved.

"How could I talk to you Zane! Don't you think I knew I made us look bad? I dont fucking need you to rub it in. But it was the only way I knew how to cope. You distanced yourself from me and yes I cant blame you but you pulled  away yet still expected me to talk to you? Does that make sense? I regretted my actions so much, resented myself for them. I was happy you forgives me but I realized after a while you just said the words but you never acted upon the actions of them. So stop blaming me for not coming to you when you ignored my cries for help. Everytime I picked up a bottle it was because I hated myself for what I did to you, then I felt you change. I felt you pull away and it only made me hate myself more!", I cried dropping to the floor.

Zane exhaled, his eyes glassy. Dropping to the floor he embraced me, pulling me into his chest I felt his body wrack.

"I'm sorry Royalty, I am. I know you wont forgive me right now but I mean it. I do forgive you for everything and I miss you, fuck I still love you. I hated to see you like that. To see you so torn and broken, but I never knew what to do. I admit back then I felt like you deserved that pain, because it reflected my pain but i know better now. I'm so sorry baby", he cried holding me tighter.

I didnt want to just fall back into his arms like this but I couldn't  help it.

I was a big simp for him.

I hugged him back, not caring how loud my sobs were. I missed him so much , I would do anything to fix us.

He pulled away from me, brushing my hair out my face and wiped my tears away.

"I'm sorry", he said leaning in.

I held my breath.

His eyes searched mine as he caressed my face and I ran my hands through his soft curls, anticipating his lips against mine.

His lips brushed mine and I sighed, before he captured my lips in his.

More tears fell as we continued. Our sorrows and regrets seemed to be spoken through this kiss.

Pulling away, out of breath he leaned his forehead on mine, holding my hand.

"I love you, Royalty "

I looked at his brown eyes and smiled sadly, running my hands down his face.

"I love you, Zane".