I'm Counting Every Lie

16: hmm

Josh's pov

Friday

After oli puts on my jacket I fix my shirt and look away so I can avoid anything awkward, I'm just being nice or whatever. I know its cliche to give someone a jacket when it's cold but it wasn't like that. The cool air is all around us and it feels refreshing. I'm wearing my dark blue long sleeve shirt that has thin white stripes on it.

My hair is a mess, it has been for years when I decided to stop straightening it. When Oli is looking the other direction I look at him and try to understand him. I really dont understand him at all, he doesn't seem to be like kellin but in a way he does. Is he going to try to 'revel my gayness'?

Kellin is so dumb. I'm straight now and he just doesn't get it. He thinks I'm lying but no, I really don't like him anymore. Oli looks at me and I keep a neutral face so he doesn't realize how- "it's about to rain," Oli interrupts my thoughts. I look at the sky and start doubting him. There are clouds above us but they are white. Definitely not rain clouds.

"No,"I say and he rolls his eyes.

"Not right now, but tonight. I have to go to the store before then," he mumbles. Oli's thick northern accent. Its unique and I think its neat. He hardly pronounces half the sounds as he talks.  '"Ot 'igh 'ow" I copy his first sentence and he closes his mouth and looks away.

Oh.. did I just upset him?

Uh.. how do I fix it? I Probably cant because he already sees me as a bully. Why should I even care? He's just kellin's friend. After a few minutes of walking in silence I look at the smaller boy to see he still looks cold. His face is starting to get red. It's not even that cold out.

He sniffles a little from the cold and finally we reach the pond I wanted to get to. I sit on the small metal bench and he sits beside me and tries to scoot away but theres not enough space to get more than four inches away. I dont really care if we touch, it's not like it will turn me gay or anything.

I skip school so much to come here. It's like my safe place- why did I let Oli come then? Maybe because I dont see him as a threat? He's definitely not my friend but I don't mind talking to him. Usually I absolutely hate talking to people. People are annoying and aggravating. Especially Jordan.

Jordan is such a cunt. He makes fun of literally everyone or anything. Nobody likes him but I'd rather be on his side than not. He hardly ever makes fun of his 'close' friends. Oliver's been quiet ever since I copied him. Is that connected? Is he upset that I mocked him? It wasn't serious, it's just weird how he pronounces things.

He picks up a ugly rock from the ground and brushes it off before putting it in his- well- my jacket pocket. That's so gross. He's gross, he has skeletons and bones in his room.. he's weird.

I pull out a pack of cigarettes and put one in between my lips and put my hands in my all my pockets only to realize I dont have my lighter. Oli retrieves a pastel purple one from his pocket and gives it to me. "Thank you," I say and light my cancer stick. I attempted to give it back but he falls off the bench.

He scrambles up off the ground and dusts off his clothes. "Just checkin' gravity," he says and sits back down but this time closer to me. He takes the lighter and puts it in the same pocket as the rock.

I snort out a laugh and then realize how dorky I just sounded so I shrug it off and breath in the intoxicating fumes. Slowly I exhale them into the air as Oli watches. I take it out of the place in between my lips and offer it to him but he looks hesitant. He does take it and puts it to his lips but doesn't inhale.

"No.." he whispers giving it back. I wasn't forcing him. I take it back and put it back in between my lips and smoking it some.

My phone beeps so I check it.

Kellin: dont you miss what we had?

Sure I do.. when we were friends it was great. But people change, I'm not who I use to be...

So you got a very small glimpse of Josh's pov. What do you think?

Kellin?

Oli?