I'm Counting Every Lie

14: what?

Friday

When my alarm goes off I wake up feeling okay. Okay but not fantastic, just not in a Triggery mood. My brown curly hair flops into my face and I realize josh saw me with curly hair for the first time yesterday. Why didnt he make fun of me for it or even acknowledge the difference?

When I get get out of my warm blankets I turn off my alarm and yawn. I stretch my body out and go to my bathroom. My bathroom is pretty different from my room, its light blue and white. My towles are light purple but nothing screams magic.

With a still sleepy and hazy mind I crawl onto the counter and sit in the sink. I'm tired.. I use a face cleaner on my face and wash my face hoping to wake up more. I slept a little longer than normal so I dont have to much time. Definitely not enough time to meditate. Last night I meditated so maybe I wont have too much trouble getting through with today.

Some people live the day and other people survive the day. I hardly even survive the day. I brush my teeth now sitting on the counter and not the sink. After my teeth and mouth is completely clean I put foundation on my beauty blender and carefully start dabbing it onto my skin. I don't have acne but it makes my already pale skin look smoother.

Once its evenly distributed on my face I powered my face a little and contour my face very lightly because I honestly dont need it. My face is sharp, or that's what kellin says. I add some highlight and then do my eye makeup like how I normally do. Purple eyeshadow on the under eye part and eyeliner.

After I'm done with my makeup I look at my hair. Its messy and everywhere but it in a way looks cute. Maybe.. should I try curly hair at school or straighten it like normal? My mind debates on it so long that I end up not having enough time to straighten it. Fuck..

Whatever, I should like my natural hair. With that I go to my room and change. I put on my purple high tops after I put on my black skinny jeans. I got them from the girl section so it can actually fit my hips but the crotch part isn't as comfortable as guy pants. Oh well, beauty hurts. Wait, then shouldn't I be comfortable?

I put on a black band shirt and then my purple dinosaur hoodie. I run my hand through my messy hair and go down my creaky steps. My mum is sitting at the table as I come in. "Wheres Benjamin?" I ask looking around. I haven't seen him in a few days.. 

My beautiful mum looks at me with her blue eyes and smiles sadly. "He's at work, I made biscuits," she says and I nod. Its really early for him to be at work already. I go into the kitchen and pick up the golden fluffy biscuit and take a bit out of it. I still think it's funny that Americans call these things biscuits.

With the biscuit in my hand I walk out of the kitchen. "I'm leaving, have a good day," I say as I walk to the door.

"Bye sweetie, have a good day at school," she says. When I leave my house I feel chilly. I already have a jacket on but it's pretty thin. The concrete sidewalk is narrow and cracked. If you didnt know I dont live in the best part of town. Everything is older and in desperate need to be replaced or fixed.

-

At school I walk to my locker looking around for kellin. I'm scared to see him because I know its going to hurt but I feel bad for being upset at him. I need to go to the bathroom to check on my hair and makeup.

When I enter the boys bathroom I freeze in spot as I see josh pinning someone to the wall with his tongue down their throat. His hands are up kellin skirt groping him. Oh my god. Josh pulls away and looks into kellins eyes.

Why am I so.. effected by this? Why am I so sad that they are a thing? Before I'm noticed I rush out of there and go to my locker. Kellin is fooling around with his bully. I open my locker and pull out my book for first block. I hate emotions.

-

In first block kellin comes in late looking.. sad? He sits in his spot next to me and gives me a awkward and fake smile. "Hey oli," he whispers. I feel dread in my heart.

"I'm still mad about the potion," I mumble honestly. He nods and fixes his hair.

"Yeah.. I understand but I want to fix it. You are my bestfriend," he days and I shrug. Well apparently we aren't as close as I thought. He's with josh and I didn't even know. Wait, is he even a virgin?  I scoff a little and he looks sad but a little confused.

"What can I do to fix us?" He asks in a soft tone. I roll my eyes.

"Tell me about you and josh," I say and his eyes widen. He looks around nervously and then back to me.

"W-why? What do you what to know?" He asks even quieter.

"Okay first, how do you know each other," I dont really want to ask about the kissing in class. He shrugs a little.

"I was his friend? We had class together. That's how I met his sister," he says. So kellin says they were friends and josh says him and his sister were friends first. This is so.. I dont know, I dont want to deal with either of them. They are both fake..

Thoughts

Theories

Kellin and josh?

Why was kellin sad?

Words: 1000