Sanders Sides OneShots

One More Time With Feeling - Logince

TW: Crying, Unrequited Love,  Angst

okay, i know ive been doing a spam of logan recently and i promise next one will be something completely different, i promise. i just HAD to do something for the playlist! also, erase me is so fucking good...

{lowercase intended}

embarrassment was what he felt. embarrassment, shame, guilt, heartbreak. he felt so much yet, so little. how? he didn't know. but it was possible. if only it had just gone his way, his wishes finally coming true, just like in the fairy tales. maybe that's why he didn't believe in them, they weren't real. although, he should have known, its in the name. tales are just that. tales. simply not true, made up. they were this fantasy that pushed happy endings into young minds, offering false hope and longing. wanting the happy ending they thought they deserved.

sitting on the floor was oddly therapeutic. the hard ground against him, keeping him from falling down, and down, and down, and- but maybe it was just him. it seemed to be like that for a lot of things these days. he didn't mind though. he would get use to it, eventually. maybe. hopefully. sighing, the glasses wearing individual rested his head against his tightly held knees, letting his red and raw eyes slip shut. it was easier this way he supposed, not having to deal with the stress of pleasuring another. giving them all of your attention, all of your happiness, everything you could possibly offer.

he couldn't force the fanciful side to share his feelings. that would just be selfish on his part. but he could admire him from afar, keep up his small fantasy and let his wishes be wishes. he could. but he wont. he knew he wouldn't. he would become defensive, closed off and cold. seemingly unfeeling. as if nothing had ever happened. it was the easiest way to go about things. nobody would worry for too long, inevitably becoming his and everyone else's default. too easy, really.

clutching his knees, logan felt tears fall down his cheeks. his shoulders shaking while his silent sobs wracked his lithe body. he never really did like easy.

"oh... ah, uh... i'm sorry, pocket protector. i- uh, i cant say i feel the same."

he never noticed how much simple words could sting. he could always get over the feeling before it got to be... this. but, maybe when you hoped something would go your way for once, it always backfires. scoffing, he sniffled and ran a hand through his hair, letting his arms falter slightly. hope was seen as something positive, something everybody could turn towards when in need. but really? really, hope was a disgusting way of manipulating someone into doing anything. it was a tactic used for mentally breaking someone. he knew this now, and therefore he refuses to feel such a feeling again.

logan feared rejection, he feared it as if it was death itself. illogical. but so was love. he knew that.

he knew that.