A Part of Me [Completed] ✅

Chapter 10

Seokjin

"Hey there my sweet angel. Happy birthday appa's baby boy. Appa can't believe you're already 4 years old. If appa hadn't seen you with his own eyes, he would truly have never believed it." I gazed at the picture that Taehyung had taken at the birthday party last week. It's one of my sweet baby Seojoon.

How unfortunate am I that I can't go to see my own child even though he's a few miles from me right now. My tears fell freely as I gazed at my little man, looking so dapper in his suit. He's the spitting image of his abeoji. It's better that way I think, that he doesn't look like me, then he wouldn't have to go through life wondering why he doesn't resemble his abeoji.

I can see my own eyes and lips reflected back at me though. I hope he'll grow out of those features too eventually. My heart cries as I think on the time I was pregnant with him. Some bittersweet memories cloud my mind. Some things I wish to forget yet I know I'll never escape them.

Taehyung entered the room after having freshly showered. I wiped my tears away hastily but I know he caught me.

"Hey Jinnie. Do you need a hug?" He pouted at me cutely. Why did he know so easily what I needed?

I nodded stupidly and he enveloped me in his strong embrace. I sighed heavily and let the tears fall. He held onto me tighter and I felt so safe and secure in his arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked up into his kind eyes and nodded slowly. "I-It's my Seojoon's birthday today. Every year on this day, I light a lantern wherever I am and release it into the night's sky in remembrance of him. I also buy a gift for him which I wrap and keep in my cupboard at home. Although, this year feels very different since I've seen him and I know he's in Singapore too."

"Do you want to go see him Jinnie? I'm sure Jungkook wouldn't mind."

"I-I can't. I'm....I'm...I don't know how to explain it to you Taehyung."

"You don't need to explain anything to me Jinnie. And you know, that no matter what, I will never judge you. I just don't want to see you so sad. How do I make you smile again?"

I turned and looked away from him. My eyes fell on the huge window overlooking the city below and I knew what I wanted to do.

"Can we go down to the marina and release a lantern? I've already bought him a gift and wrapped it. It's in my luggage bag."

"Yes Jinnie. It will be my honour to accompany you."

I smiled a little and he opened his arms for me. I ran into his embrace and he held me close for a while. I needed this. I needed a friend now more than anything. And he was that for me. He reminded me a lot of Minie hyung and my heart felt peace when I thought about him. Minie hyung had been like a brother to me and Taehyung felt very similar to that too.

He knew how I felt and he promised never to push me into anything more unless I wanted it. He was upfront about his feelings and I felt terrible for using him like this; although no amount of reassurance from him could compensate for the hate I felt at myself for being selfish.

"I love you Jinnie. And I'm always going to be here for you no matter what. I know how you're feeling and I don't care. I'm your friend if you need one, your brother should you need guidance and I'll be your lover whenever you're ready to cross that bridge."

I lifted my head up to gaze into his eyes, startled again at his uncanny ability to always know what I was thinking. I don't even know when his lips found mine and he we kissing me softly, almost reverently. When he moved his face away, I closed myself up once again in his protective embrace.

Later, we bought the lantern and made our way down to the marina, holding hands very naturally. I said a small prayer for my lost children and a special one for my little angel, setting the lantern free up into the night's sky. We watched as it rose higher and higher, losing itself finally in the clouds. He backhugged me while small tears escaped my eyes.

"Happy birthday Seojoonie," he said, and I smiled softly. I turned to face him and he kissed my chin, holding me close. Unbeknownst to us, someone was watching us as we made our way back to the car.

We looked up and admired the fireworks display that had erupted at the top of the Marina Bay Sands hotel. It was very pretty and my face lit up at the myriad of colours that painted the sky. Taehyung held me close and leaned down, kissing me softly before we stepped into the car.

..........

Jungkook

My heart clenched as I watched my Jinnie through the binoculars from atop the Bay hotel. Initially, the lantern floating across the sky had caught my attention. I'd then lowered the lens to focus on the couple down by the marina who I assumed had set the lantern afloat. They were the only ones down at the bay.

When the taller male had backhugged his lover and the other had very naturally turned to embrace him, it was then that I realised that it was my Jinnie in his arms. The tears flowed of their own volition as I watched the man kiss his chin and then stop once again to admire the fireworks display together. He had then kissed Jinnie again.

My son ran up to me happily and I hid my tears quickly, embracing him.

"Happy birthday abeoji's baby." I kissed his chubby cheeks and he laughed cutely. "Did you enjoy your fireworks?"

"I did Abeo. Thank you. Joonie loves you Abeoji."

"I love you too my Joonie bear."

My heart was ripped in two as I held onto my son, but I composed myself. My Jinnie was lost to me again, and I could do nothing about it.

I didn't hate him. I couldn't. He had given me the greatest blessings of my life, his love and our child while he wandered and fought against the world to survive. Maybe I didn't know all the reasons, and I definitely didn't agree with his decisions but I still respected them.

If we were destined to belong to each other someday, I would put my trust and faith in the universe. It would surely conspire to bring us together again when the time was right.

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Hey there my swties. I do apologise that I'm not giving up on Jin's secrets just yet but they still need to be hidden for a time. Please be patient with me as I weave this story into its destination.

I love you and I hope you trust in me as I do you

I purple you 💜

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Love Swty 😙