Chapter 13

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Seokjin's eyes fluttered open. He felt a heavy weight against his tummy and back. When he squirmed a little, the weight tightened around his tummy. He shifted the covers and it was then that he looked down and found a hand gripping his naked body firmly.

Everything came back to him in a flash. His night of love making with his gorgeous lover, spooning him right then. He blushed profusely and sighed into his pillow as the memory of the night's activities assaulted his mind, his body, his soul. How the pleasure had overtaken every sense of his and left him senseless and drunk on love.

His hyungie had made him feel every bit of love and desire. Seokjin's mind ran through their lovemaking and he blushed even more. How could this man spooning him right now, so calm and sweet in his embrace, take him to such powerful heights of ecstasy and intense passion so easily?

They didn't just have sex. No. They had made love. A vast difference. He felt Jungkook stir and nuzzle against his neck, his soft lips brushing the base of his nape. Seokjin closed his eyes and drowned in the feeling of his lover cuddling like a baby with him.

The old feeling of having Jungkook this way, took Seokjin back to a time when he felt so loved and so beautiful.  Jungkook had made him feel that way. Only Jungkook. Although, inadvertently, his thoughts would teeter dangerously on memories that he wished to forget forever. He pulled himself out of them with much difficulty just the way his therapist had taught him.

He had been going to see Taehyung's cousin, Kim Chi Ha, for the past few months now and it had made a huge impact on his life. He had learned many things about himself and the life he was leading. Seokjin had traversed a long and emotionally draining road to self discovery and self love. Never before had he thought of himself as anyone that deserved anything good in his life. But now, he had found a confidence in himself to accept his past, his shortcomings, his failures but also his present, his strengths and his victories.

Learning to love himself had been his greatest challenge. He still had a long way to go but he found the path to self love to be a bittersweet experience, especially for someone like him, who always believed he was worthless.

His journey had given him the confidence to finally bring out his truest and purest feelings for his hyungie. He was finally able to say those three magic words to him that he had craved for the past five years. And he could never have done that had he not met Taehyung.

The night that Taehyung had set up the place for them to finally submit themselves to each other, Seokjin had come to a realisation that he was hurting Taehyung more and doing a disservice to the two of them by being in a relationship that was going to take them down a road of heartbreak and tears only.

They had sat down and spoke about their true feelings and it had been therapeutic for both of them. They had parted as friends and remained as such. Seokjin was happy for him. He would finally be free of a love that was unrequited and could move on to better and happier things. Seokjin in turn had pushed all his energy in living each day to the fullest and to improving himself and his life for a better future.

Somewhere deep within himself, he knew he was fighting a losing battle against his love for Jungkook and that had climaxed when he saw Jungkook again after a year of once again supressing his feelings for him. It was inevitable that he would submit but he knew the time was close for revealing even a small part of his indifference towards Jungkook's love.

It all scared him to no end but he knew that he would one day have the courage to conquer his fears and bury his demons once and for all. For the sake of his love and for the sake of his child, Seokjin would persevere and pull himself out the depths of depression and self loathing.

"I can feel your mind working overtime baby," Jungkook moaned against Jin. "Sleep my angel. You must be so tired. Hyungie didn't give you any rest last night."

Jungkook's hoarse, sleepy voice, caused Seokjin to smile sweetly. It was a blessing to wake up in his arms. He had missed this feeling of sublime happiness for so long.

"Some people have to work for a living you know," he groaned into his pillow. And Jungkook moaned at that.

"Tell someone else to cover for you babe. You can't deny me this after you've made me live like some ascetic for so long."

"Excuse me, when did I hold you back? You were free to do as you pleased," Seokjin turned around to face his lover, quirking his eyebrow.

"Really now? And you would have been okay with me fucking some random person or maybe even being in a relationship with another?" Jungkook questioned Jin teasingly.

Seokjin scoffed. "Wouldn't have made any difference to my life," he lied, playing along with Jungkook.

"And to think, there I was pining and wasting my time over you when I could have had any sweet ass at any time. Tut tut tut. I have been a fool."

Seokjin planted his hands against Jungkook's meaty throat and pressed down. "I'll kill you if you even think of anyone else other than me!"

Jungkook laughed happily at Jin's lame attempt to strangle him. He didn't even flinch. He pulled him over himself and kissed him, caging him in his embrace and tickling him mercilessly.

Seokjin laughed happily. "Aaaaah hyungie! No! Don't tickle!" He laughed louder as Jungkook continued his assault of tickling him.

"Mercy! Mercy! Aaaaah.....I love you hyungie!"

"That's better! I love you too my baby." Jungkook stopped tickling Jin and he tried to steady his breathing. He pushed his bangs away from his face and cupped his soft cheeks. "I love you my angel. I love you so much. Promise me you'll never leave me? You'll never turn your back on us again?"

"Please hyungie. I have much to discuss with you before I make any promises. You know that. I love you and I'm not going to leave you. Not this time. I'm going to try very hard to make everything right again. But you have to trust me. And when I'm ready, no one will be able to separate us again."

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at that. "Who separated us before?"

Seokjin looked into Jungkook's deep brown eyes and smiled sadly, "I did."

............

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I hope this has shed some light on Jin's mental and emotional health

I purple you 💜

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Love Swty 😙

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