The Desperate Marriage

Father and Son

I snorted. Nang-aasar na naman ang lalaking ito.

"Do I? But you love me my dear inspite of-----"

"Shut up!"

Hindi ko na gustong marinig pa ang mga sasabihin niya.

Magsasalita pa sana ito nang biglang bumukas ang pinto.

"Mommy! I need my painting board."

Sabay kaming napatingin kay Nathan. Kasama nito si Marie at halatang nabigla ito nang makita si Jamie. She maybe recognize the looks were Nathan has it all.

Nagtatakang tiningnan ni Nathan ang ama. I saw Nathaniel's face turn pale. He's utterly shocked staring a his own son's face.

"Marie maiwan mo muna kami. Hintayin mo na lang si Nathan sa labas."

Wala sa sariling tumango ito at isinara nito ang pinto pagkatapos lumabas.

"Hi.."

Basag ni Nathan sa kanyang katahimikan. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong matuwa o mainis dahil kitang kita ko ang pagkabigla sa itsura nito. Parang tinuklaw ito ng ahas.

"Hello."

He respond reluctantly.

Tinawag ko si Nathan at pinaupo sa sofa.

"Who is he Mom?"

Nagkatinginan kami ni Nathaniel. I can see the regrets written in his eyes. Hindi ko alam kung ito na ba ang tamang panahon na makilala ni Nathan ang ama. Kalaunan, tinutukan niyang muli ang anak. I took a deep breathe. I don't understand why he's acting so strange.

"Can I hug you little boy?"

He managed to ask in a teary eyes. Ngumiti ang anak ko at mabilisang tumango without even asking me. Hindi na siguro stranger ang tingin niya sa sariling ama. Nathaniel scoop him immediately at emotional niya itong niyakap. I looked away. I don't want to get carried away.

"Your crying? Why? Does your teeth was sore?"

Nathan ask his father in a weary. Nagsalubong ang kilay nito. Tumawa si Jamie sa worries ng anak. Napangiti ako ng palihim. Lage niya kasing nakikitang umiiyak si Jacqueline dahil sa sakit sa ngipin. Mahilig kasi kumain ng chocolates.

"No. I'm just happy.."

"Nathan, pumunta ka muna kay yaya. Later na tayo magtalk."

Hindi pa nararapat. Baka mabigla ang anak ko.

"I need my paint tools, Mom."

My son is artistic, namana niya sa kanyang ama.

"Ok, get your tools and go to your yaya outside."

Ibinaba siya ng ama at mabilis nitong kinuha ang mga gamit pangpinta.

"Bye!"

He wave his hands to us at patakbo itong lumabas sa pinto hawak -hawak ang kanyang paintings tools.

"Careful!"

Pahabol ko. Then we left here alone.

Nanghihina itong umupo sa sofa. I was suffocated by his presence kaya hinarap ko na siya.

"Now what? Anong mga sasabihin mo?"

Nanlulumo itong napahilamos sa kanyang mukha. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya umaaktong nagsisisi gayong dati hindi naman niya matanggap si Nathan bilang anak.

"I have a son.. Sh*t! How come?"

Parang hangal nitong bulong sa sarili. Nagtataka na lamang akong nakatitig sa kanya.

**

Jamie POV

I have a son!

Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali, anak ko si Nathan. Anak ko siya. His eyes, his nose, and all the proportions in his face is mine. I have lots of photos when I was young and I can't deny the fact that I was exactly look like him. His profile is mine.

The result was fake.

And that damn Doctor will pay! I'll assure that!

"Are you gonna grimace all day or sasabihin mo sa akin ang gusto mong sabihin?"

She snapped out of my trance. I raised my head and looked at her intensely. How long did she suffer of what have I've done? How many times did I hurt her for just believing the piece of paper which is not true? I felt bad. Very bad. I keep believing through all those years that I can't produce an offspring to the point that I despised my own flesh and blood.

I was a bunch of moron. Stupid, fool and idiot. Everything!

If only I could turn back time. If only I could.. But it was all wasted dahil lang sa kapiraso ng papel. Dahil lang sa katangahan.

"Are you okay?"

She asked again when she notice that I look bothered. I sighed heavily. This is it. Apologize is not enough how stupid I am and how I hurt her badly.

"I'm sorry for everything Zea. I know that I was.."

I choked. I don't know where and how to start with. She was wondering waiting the whole thing I am about to say.

"My fault. My big fault. I thought I could not bear a child. I've done check up before but it was..futile. I mean I'm sterile. And I keep believing that damn result all these years... But when I saw Nathan..he's everything that I have and..."

I paused for a little while. And her pretty face turn to sour. She's mad after I explained.

"Nathaniel, its not my fault anymore if mas pinili mong paniwalaan ang resulta ng mali mong pagpapacheck up noon kaysa sa akin na asawa mo, at nagdadala ng sarili mong dugo. How I hate you Nathaniel!"

Pak!

I deserved that slap. Natabingi ang mukha ko sa subrang lakas ng sampal. Pero kulang pa yon sa lahat ng ginawa ko sa kanya noon. Everything she said was true. Mas pinili kong paniwalaan ang isang malaking bagay na pagkakamali kaysa makinig sa mga paliwanag niya. I lost my trust because of my insecurities. Nilamon ako ng matinding galit. Barado na ang utak ko ng mga panahong yon.

Dahan-dahan kong ibinaling ang mukha sa kanya. Her eyes snapped with fire when she's staring at me. I looked at her apologetically.

"Kulang pa yan Nathaniel sa lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin noon. Hindi ganun kadali ang magbuntis at mag-alaga ng anak nang mag-isa. I know its worth it dahil anak ko si Nathan. Pero ang isipin na itinanggi mo ang sarili mong anak at itinago sa akin ang dahilan ay hindi ko matatanggap kailanman! Your idiot! I thought lahat kayo matalino pero wala kang kwentang ama! Wala!"

He burst out crying saying all those words with pain. Ito ang pinakamasaklap na nakita ko sa kanya buong buhay ko. I've tried to hug her pero pinagsasampal sampal niya ako. Lumuhod ako sa harapan niya at niyakap ko ang bewang niya.

"Forgive me.. Please.. I want you back and our son. Please..Honey.. Hon.."

I can't help but to cried. I am so disappointed in myself.

"Leave me alone Nathaniel. I don't wanna hear everything you'll say. Its useless. I still can't forgive you.."

She said in a cold voice. She's struggling removing my arms in hers.

"Honey.. Let's start a new.. Please.."

I begged harder. But she declined even more.

Laglag ang balikat ko nang lisanin ko ang lugar na yon. I don't want to make it hard for both of us. Bibigyan ko muna siya ng panahon para makapag-isip. I'll be back for my son. For now I'll settle everything first..

***please VOTE if you like the story***