Hawks x Hero!Reader [The Things We Hide]

5. Sleepless Nights

You woke up bathing in sweat. 

Wtf?! Now, such a memory?! 

Well, even here the shadows reached out for your feet and got you cold. But what did you think? That all would be different from then to now? Just like that?

You looked on your phone. 

Not even thee am. 

It was still dark outside.

You knew you couldn't go back to sleep so you stood up and showered quickly.

When you got out of th bathroom you noticed a small box on the breakfast counter. It must have fallen out of your bag earlier.

You grabbed it and walked to the window that took you out to the balcony. 

There you sat on one of the chairs, looking down at the city lights underneath you.

Even now the city was still filled with sounds of cars and laughing people. 

The lights of the big advertising screens reflected on the millions of windows from the buildings beneath. It all looked like a sea of colourful lights which contrasted perfectly to the dark sky above.

You couldn't see the stars.

Light pollution.

That was one of the things you also missed besides your family. 

The stars. 

And you felt it now more than you would have thought.

The dream brought back memories you had been hiding in the last corner of your mind in a small box with a big sign: Don't open, content fragile.

You didn't dream a lot. Mostly just black emptyness and that was okay with you.

You sighed. You did that a lot in the last time, even if noone was around.

Then you stared at the small carton in your hand. 

Turning the small box around it revealed its content. White brown cylinders from the length of a long finger but smaller in the width. Cigarettes.

You never really were a smoker kind of person but at such nights... It held you up from...

Overthinking...

Others did alcohol or other drugs but these never really gave you anything. Of cause you liked to drink a (your favorite sort of Alkohol) once in awhile. Even when you had been underage at this time but at your town nobody really cared about that as long as you did not overdo it. But it never really gave you the comforting aspect many people told you they got from a glass of cognac or wine. Same it had been with other things.

You rolled the cigarette in your hand while staring at it.

Only the grey smoke that went through your lungs and the nicotine when it flew through your system calmed you enough to just let the thoughts go and dissaper like the smoke that came out of your mouth after exhaling.

You knew it was bad for your health but sometimes you just didn't care. You didn't inhale a whole box at one night or anything like that.

You put end in your mouth while you bend your other hands thumb and pointing finger so that they had a small space in between their tips.

Then you activated your quirk.

Two small plasma strings built in between the fingerstips while crossing each other like small purple lightnings. A slight electric humming was hearable.

You slightly smiled at the sight while the purple light reflected on your skin. 

You still got it. Even after such a long time with out using it.

In your home town it was elegal to use a quirk in public if you didn't have a license and where employees in an agency. 

Because you did lack the last one you couldn't train or use your quirk there anymore.

This had been another reason why this city was a good place to start over again. 

Even if you shouldn't find an agency, you where still allowed to be a hero and use your quirk for the better and protect the people here. 

They would maybe want you more than the people in your hometown did.

After enflaming the tip of the cigarette, you inhaled deeply and closed your eyes. 

The train of your thoughts had been driving to far again. Time for you to exit.

With a long soft exhale the bluish-grey smoke came out again. Slowly traveling up your lips to your nose over your cheeks to fade into thin air while climbing even higher up in the cold dark sky.

You always forgot about thinking when the hot smoke traveled down your throat. You had something to do while your mind was blank. Like deep and slow in- or exhaling...

This cancer bringing friend had been one of a few, when not the only one, who had brought you to stop crying after long days and even longer nights of pure crying, sleeping and crying again. It had always managed to calm you down like nothing else did to that time.

You remembered exactly how long you had been coughing after your first time trying one.

It had let your tears dry up for the short time of inhaling the smoke of the burning tabacco plant leaves. 

And so it did now.

After you snipped the rest of your cigarette over the balcony you looked again into the sea of lights underneath you. 

All these people... They have to be protected... And you wanted to be someone to help to active this while fighting on the forefront!

When you turned around to open the window to your apartment again, you could have sworen you had seen a red lightning in the corner of your eye. 

You shook your head. This had to be a reflection... Didn't it?

Closing the door behind you, you plopped yourself on the surprisingly comfortable couch and turned on your laptop. 

You kicked on the searching tool and wrote into the search bar "Kyushu hero agencies".

If you couldn't sleep you could at least use the time useful. 

There had been still a lot to do for you if you wanted to start all over again.

~

Hey, first of all:

Sorry if you are not a smoker!!

Good for you and your health! 😂

This should not animate you to smoke!

It is causing cancer and death!!!

But I thought it was a good plot device and would catch the vibe a little bit better.

If you can't stand it just write it again in your head as something you prefer or skip these parts. Same goes for the consumption of other drugs like alcohol or anything else.

In this universe you are allowed to during and smoke if you are 19 so it is legal. (just a side note if you might wondered 😂👌)

This disclaimer counts also for everything evolving drugs of any kind in the following.

Hope you are doing well and you enjoyed it.

Until next time😘❤️