Chapter 5

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⚠️abuse⚠️

Felix's hands shake as he tries to put the key into the lock. He just wants to get into his room and away from everyone for a bit. He drops the key a few times saying 'fuck' or 'shit' each time. Even though the hallway was empty, as everyone has gone for lunch, he still felt like people were watching him.

Eventually, he gets the key into the lock and with a twist of his wrist, he hears a sweat click. Pushing the door open he swiftly glides around and closes the door with his back. Felix stands there for a moment looking blankly into the distance.

Going over to his bed he throws his backpack on top and goes to sit down. Only he misses and falls onto the floor, sending a sharp pain up his back. Letting out a loud sigh Felix rests his head against the bed and tries to back the tears.

Failing to do so Felix pulls his legs into his chest and cries into his legs. He sits there curled up in his little ball of safety just like what he used to do back home. After letting out a few sobs mixed with bed memories resurfacing Felix stands up abruptly and goes straight to the bathroom.

Turning on the tap, hot water starts flowing, filling up the bath. The mirror steams up and the air is thick with water vapours. Seeing his blurry reflection Felix pulls off his hoodie and tee revealing the numerous amount on scars across his top half. In the mirror, they couldn't be seen and Felix's body looked normal. Felix gives a smile to his reflection and feels a slight bit of happiness and the idea of being normal.

Knowing that he couldn't be quickly brought that smile to an end. The memory of his dad yelling at him for not being normal while his mum screamed and his dad to stop beating him filled his head. The desire to leave grew stronger with every time his dad got drunk and stormed into his room.

A scar on the top of his left shoulder was caused by one of those nights. Felix was trying to push against his bedroom door as his father banged against it. When the door flung open Felix was sent flying across his room, his shoulder ripping open on the corner of the metal desk frame. When it happened his father paid no attention to the injury, not even when the blood was staining what used to beige carpet, he just kept kicking Felix causing more pain.

Whenever his dad left after beating him his mum would come running into his room and cradle him in her arms. She always made the pain feel less painful. It wasn't always the pain on the outside that hurt Felix found is easy to get used to that, it was the pain in his heart that his father would treat him the way he did, probably still would if Felix was home right now, even when Felix was his son his blood. That was what caused the most pain. Those memories are the ones he wished to forget. He wished that when he left his father would have successfully killed him.

Felix pulls his hoodie back on covering all his scars from the world. The bath was now full, ready for Felix to submerge himself. Stepping into the bath Felix feels the water burning at his skin but it doesn't stop him, he keeps sliding in further and further. The warmth starting to feel like his mothers embrace smooth and calming.

Down in the cafeteria Chans sits with his friends but he can't seem to get Felix's face off his mind. He could see that Felix wanted to be alone but something didn't feel right about leaving him. Without thinking Chan stands up shaking the table as he does.

"Sorry, I need to go and check on Felix. I'll be back in a bit." Chan gives a quick bow before running and shoving past people as he makes his way to the dorm.

The hallway is empty not a single person in sight, not even a sound could be heard. All Chan could hear was his footsteps as he crept towards the door of his room. The eerie feeling inside Chan grew with each step. Sliding his key into the door he unlocks it and enters, quietly closing the door behind him.

The room is empty, no sign of Felix except for his bag laying across his bed. Chan worries more about not just were Felix is but what he is doing and what must've happened to him. Chans breath begins to quicken he feels his chest tighten.

Pulling out his phone his dials Felix's number, a few rings go through when he realises that Felix phone is lighting up between his foot and Felix's bed. Felix doesn't have his phone on him, how is Chan meant to find him now.

Suddenly a noise comes from the bathroom causing Chan to turn his neck fast enough to almost have whiplash. Moving again without thinking Chan opens the bathroom door and he feels his heart drop.

First taking a step back not wanting to believe what he saw, that Felix wasn't there. Finally making sloppy steps closer Chans feet splashing in the overflowing water he stands next to the bath, looking over Felix's body. Chan can't handle the weight of his heavy body causing him to drop to his knees, splashing more water everywhere.

Felix is laying there in the bath, the water around him red. Chan reaches out to touch Felix's face but quickly pulls his hand back not wanting to believe it.

"I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have told them. I should've been here for you." Chan holds onto Felix's hand and cries into it. Chan can't move his body from the shock of Felix in front of him. The only thing he can do is cry.

"Chan?" Felix speaks out in a weak voice. Chan's head looks up at Felix his eyes full of tears.

"I-I thought you were dead." Chan pulls Felix into a hug, not caring about how soaked he is going to be after this.

"What? Why would you think that?" Felix hugs Chan back, enjoying the welcoming confront someone, anyone to help him feel happier.

"Why is the water red then?" Felix looks down and sees that the water was red. Then he realises what caused it.

"The dye from my hoodie must've leaked." Felix let's out a little chuckle as Chan lets out a sigh of relief.

"You're an idiot you know that." Chan pulls Felix back into his chest, happy that he alive and safe. Not wanting to let go in the fear of losing him.

"Yeah," Felix doesn't sound very enthusiastic but he is quick to let out a joke. "I'm washing myself and my clothes." He does the same actions as the vine causing Chan to finally give him a big fat smile.

"Just don't scare me like that again, okay?" Felix nods promising not to cause any scares again.

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