Rusger Oneshots

Be Gay Do Drugs

"WHat is That?" Russia meowed curiously, sniffing at it as she held it out to them, still in its clear plastic bag. "I don't know. It looks like dried grass." Germany answered, sticking his tongue out in displeasure. Yuck.

Earth giggled at their behaviour, and reached up her hand to fiddle with the black box. She pushed a few buttons, and the red blinking light turned on. Germany didn't know what it actually does, but when ever she turned it on, she becomes very cheerful and happy.

"Hey everyone. Today, I'm going to let my favourite cats," She cooed, petting Russia's head first, then petting his own. Russia purred happily, shaking out his long fur and padding closer to where she was kneeled in front of them, indirectly closer to the black, blinking box.

"...try Catnip! They never tried it before, and I'm curious to see what will happen"

"Well, as you know, catnip is a drug to cats, it makes them loopy, some cats become more relaxed, which I hope Germany will be today." She laughed, stroking his back again. Germany pretended to hiss at her, turning his head away and smacking her hand with his tail, making Russia snicker.

She reached over to the table and grabbed a pair of scissors while babbling on, and carefully, nudging Russia back away from the sharp tool, began to cut the plastic bag. Russia yawned, and licked his thick chops. Germany snickered and leaned over discreetly to lick his ear, making the bigger cat grin.

Earth snipped the corner of the bag open, putting away the waste plastic and scissors. Russia sniffed the air, he could smell something new. It could be the green stuff in the bag. Germany smelt it too, and tilted his head to the side like he always does when he's curious.

"Alright here we go!"

She gently tipped the opening of the bag to the floor, pouring out the green flaky stuff in a line. Russia immediately sprang forward, sniffing at the stuff. Germany held back, but leaned down on his forelegs, his eyes wide, observing closely. His nose grazed a few millimeters away from the line, smelling the weirdly pleasing scent of the dried grass. 

"Woah-" Russia said, retracting his nose. His pupils were slowly dilating, and he looked...woozy. "Hmm..." Germany hummed, coming a bit closer, his hunches raised. "It's...weird..." Russia said slowly, but leaning his head back for another sniff.

"Weirdly good." Without warning, he flopped down, pressing his cheek on the line of dried grass flakes. "Hey!!" Germany yowled. Now the floor was messed up, and so was Russia's fur. Earth was laughing, tilting the black box with its round all-seeing eye downwards on its perch to stare at them.

Russia was now purring, rolling around on the ground like crazy. Germany looked on in shock, this was weird. Cats don't behave like this-

"Come on Hon join in the fun!" Earth said, tapping the floor with the tip of her nail, beckoning him forward. Tentatively, he inched forward, now wary of the green stuff. He seen what it did to Russia, would it do the same to him?

"C'mon Gerrr...it feels nice~" Russia said, his meowing mixed with his purrs as he rolled around the ground. His fluffy tail flicked in his face, and Germany batted at it. 

"He..." Russia slurred happily, rubbing his face against the floor again, Germany sniffed the green flaky grass that Earth had called catnip. It was almost like a warm, comforting feeling, blossoming through his lungs.

He didn't even realise he was purring, while he was literally breathing the fumes from the grass, it was amazing. Earth laughing, sounding far far away, and suddenly her hand felt like an electric shock on his face, and he sprang back, stumbling over his paws and falling his behind.

Russia laughed as Germany stared wide-eyed into the distance, his pupils blown wide till his yellow irises were all but gone. He purred louder, and went to help him.

"You okay?" He snickered, standing in front of him. "Whoaaa..." Germany drawled slowly, his eyes focusing on him and he gave him a big cat grin, showing off his sharp teeth. "You're really blurry-" He flopped down on the ground in a heap of black, red and gold fur.

"Ger~" Russia meowed, nudging his limp body with his nose. He never noticed the world was this colourful, Germany's fur was so vibrant and seemed to be flying out of him like streaks of light. Russia giggled again, flopping down next to him. Earth was laughing behind them, he could hear her picking up her black device thing and bringing it over o get a better angle.

"You look very pretty-" He purred sweetly to Germany, reaching up a paw to touch a sleek whisker. Germany blushed under his fur, at least the red colour hid it very well.

"What noo...what are you saying..." Germany smiled sloppily, getting back up as quick as lighting and flicking his tail like crazy. Earth was just gleefully recording every funny moment on her go pro, this would definitely get so many views across the galaxy. Mars will whine again about the unfairness of course- 

"It's truee..." Russia grinned, and got up slower, moving after the smaller cat. Germany screeched and bolted, chased down by a hyperactive ball of white, blue and red fur. 

"Hey!!" Germany yowled, as he was pushed down to the ground, a heavy weight holding him down. Russia cackled as evilly as a cat could be as licked his head, making a lock of his black fur stick skyward. "Ewwww....why Russ whyyy-"

Germany meowed dramatically, the catnip's effects was slowly easing off him, and the world stopped spinning like a freaking disco ball again. Russia's fangs were a off-white colour in the light, and he rubbed his head against his cheek, purring loudly.

"Because I loveee you~" 

Earth, to her unknown credit, had stopped recording, feeling that it was funny enough to keep the galaxy laughing at for a while. Seriously she was the only one of them to have these sort of thing, everyone else just posted new meteorites they could see or stuff their moons were doing. BoRinG.

Germany blushed red, and licked his blue-furred cheek tentatively, making Russia's fluffy tail shoot straight up to attention and literally turn into a ball of cotton candy. Metaphorically, if it was actually cotton candy America would come bowling in and eating it off right away.

"Love you too Russ" He purred back.

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(Go to the next part to see better stuff I posted two shots taday. go go go this is terrible writing and I'm sorry-)

*Instant regret and despair* 

Heck Exam preps are doing somethin' to me I have ran out of brain cells and writing juice. 

Sorry for the poor quality of writing guys T.T

Kay and now go to the next part thank you for reading till here <3