Gazing in the Mirror

February 28 - My Savior

Do not ask that your kids
live up to your expectations.
Let your kids be who they are,
and your expectations will be
in breathless pursuit.
~ Robert Brault

Creation does not mean making
something out of nothing, but
means the passing of Substance
into form, through a Law which is
set in motion by the Word of Spirit.
~ Ernest Holmes

Before you grow concerned about the nature of this essay let me assure you I'm not going to make the usual connection to the person of Jesus of Nazareth. To be certain the man has my respect for to be remembered for so long by the rest of humanity is no small feat. It would seem to indicate that there was something special about him and he certainly has some notable company of similar souls. I am thinking this day of my oldest son.

Even before he was born the decision to have him changed my life. I might be dead or dying already had it not been for my advanced age when trying to conceive him. Because I was well into my 40s all kinds of tests were ordered for me to see if I should be allowed to receive the treatments that were necessary for me to conceive at such an old age. In the process of that endeavor it was discovered that my body was carrying within it a virus. The virus didn't keep me from having my son and did him no harm but the knowledge of it allowed me to alter my behavior to include a total abstinence from alcohol and therefore increase the quality of life I could expect to have going forward.

My son was always very energetic and high maintenance as an infant. I had to hold or walk him to get him to slow down enough to get the rest that he needed. He was ever challenging and he certainly humbled me as a parent as well. I consider my older son one of my Life's greatest teachers. He showed me the anger in myself and then assisted me through experiences to find calm and creative ways to respond to his behavior. His presence in my life made me want to be a better person.

My son is quite in tune with his core essence and has the blessings of a life that allows him full expression of a creativity that comes from having a genuine artist's soul. He shows me that art can be expressed in any element of Life and that it is a way of seeing the world. He realizes that his ease of creative expression is a gift that is also a kind of burden for the creative urge burns within him for expression and must be allowed release. I am grateful his abilities were encouraged at a young age by having received an official recognition by non-family people.

He is sensitive but tough. He is persistent and determined and sometimes frustrated when the outcome he is able to achieve simply doesn't match the vision within him. He teaches me courage. He fearlessly questions unfairness and seeks clarity. He will stand his ground and say No or Make Me. He values his autonomy and has good common sense. He has always had uncommonly good common sense even as a toddler. His is an old soul in a renewed body as a vehicle for his soul or so it is that I perceive him.

I thank the reader for their patience with my maternal expressions of appreciation and gratitude for my son this day. It is one of my shorter essays and so don't feel I've done the topic of my wonderful son the justice it deserves. Not because my son is better than anyone else's son or worse than anyone else's son but because someday my children may read all that I have written here while gazing into the mirror of Life to see what it reflects to me on whatever topic and may they truly know me better for having these than they might know me otherwise. May they also know clearly as well just how much they are loved by me. I take full responsibility for my decision to allow them expression from my very body's resources and full responsibility for any of my unavoidable shortcomings as a parent. I will take no credit for the wonderful person I know my son to be. It is entirely his own creative work in progress.

~ perspective

I often let my son know how much
I appreciate his capabilities.
I encourage my son to express
his authentic nature.
I quickly apologize to my son
if I've been wrong in my behavior
towards him.
I quickly give my son love for
any kind of pain that is present
and I am there for him whenever
I am needed.
I try to stay out of the way
of my son's creativity but
happily lend a hand whenever
it is asked for.

#abstinence #anger #artist #courage #creativity #health #hepC #knowledge #love #modification