Gazing in the Mirror

February 24 - A Sunday Kind of Love

A soul connection is a resonance
between two people who respond to
the essential beauty of each other's
individual natures, behind their facades,
and who connect on this deeper level.
~ John Welwood

...because we are happy, people around
us will be happy; because we love,
they will love us; because we embrace,
they will embrace us. ... as we look at
each other, we behold there the living
Presence, love and friendship, and
joy forever and forevermore.
~ Ernest Holmes

At the risk of treading into "adult content", even so I feel compelled today to write about this important aspect of being a mature human being. So you are forewarned in case you would rather not continue reading. Yeah, as if you aren't hooked already !! Americans are obsessed and puritanical simultaneously. Sex sells but we'd rather not think too directly about the qualities of romantic or energetic connecting depending whatever the realities are of such relationships for our own self. However I was primed and ready to go this week for my weekly tryst with my husband.

First, there was the genuine sign of loving concern from my husband this week, when I found myself in the midst of a much worse winter storm that neither my husband nor my own self had anticipated. That he cared enough for my own well-being that he was fully supportive and encouraging of me when I decided it was not worth the risk to come home spoke volumes of genuine love in his very actions. Sometimes such actions really do speak much louder than any spoken words. Like many couples in a very long-term relationship, some of those early infatuations that lead to constant overt expressions of attraction with a frequent touching of one another mellow with time and are no longer expressed. We still occasionally kiss when parting but not always. We still seem to find one another generally "attractive" in a physical sense even though we are both aging.

The Taoist in me was attracted to an article titled "The Yearning Curve" by Valerie Frankel. I know the author's work from many, many years of encountering it in various publications. This one was published in Whole Living magazine's Jan/Feb 2013 issue. The article notes that a survey ranked the United States only 23rd out of 26 nations regarding sexual frequency. I actually do take the need for consistent physical contact with my husband quite seriously. At the time I first wrote this, we had a standing date every Sunday morning. This was chosen because [a] our children sleep late and [b] our business and the world in general is less demanding on Sundays. So it is a bit of a routine though our physical interactions with one another are anything but routine. And then there are a few of those "special occasions" like birthdays or holidays . . .

There is a book out by an acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist named Jill Blakeway titled "Sex Again" (which Frankel makes an ironic joke about as in "Sex . . . again ?"). The subtitle is Recharging Your Libido — Ancient Wisdom for Modern Couples. It is full of 6 weeks of gentle techniques for reconnecting with one's partner. I really don't intend to get into the details. Interested readers can look it up for themselves. What I'd not read about previously was what Taoist thinkers have thought about sex as well as other topics of human life but why not consider that as well ?

I resonated with the idea of breath work for harmonizing chi and balancing the yin and yang of relating. The important point is to remember whilst one is in the presence of their partner that they are sending chi (pure life force) into one another and receiving chi from one another. I've long been attentive to the energetic qualities in the background of connecting with my partner. It doesn't take a scientist to realize that when one puts their auric field into that close of a proximity to another auric field – there is going to be some co-mingling and that when the couple goes their separate ways once again, they leave one another's presence trailing some of the other's energy field with them. I believe that connecting with one's partner in physical proximity, whether or not sex occurs in the process, is of utmost importance for maintaining harmony.

Then there was Arielle Ford's article in the Feb 2013 Science of Mind magazine based on her book titled Wabi Sabi Love which I read that long ago morning just prior to joining my husband in our private space. Wabi sabi is an ancient Japanese aesthetic that honors all things old, weathered, worn, imperfect, and impermanent by finding the beauty in the imperfections. Just like the qualities of a very old and enduring committed relationship. We continue to want to be with our partner in spite of the inevitable disagreements and upsets with both of us taking responsibility for finding solutions to the situations that come up from time to time. This includes a deep compassion for our own imperfections as well as those of our partner – the acceptance of both encourages the self-acceptance that generates confidence in living.

~ perspective

My partner and I discover and
realize our deepest potential as
we see and love the highest and
best that we might become with
one another's encouragement.
I am committed to confronting the
issues that obstruct a free flow of
appreciation and gratitude between
my partner and my self.
The divine subtleties of a loving
relationship reveal some of the
deepest truths of life to me.
Being in a committed relationship
gives a context for me to explore
and expand the depth of my
passionate responses to the realities
of Life and Death.
In relationship I can make use of
my suffering and cultivate capacities
for strength, wisdom, love, faith
and a sense of humor and I find
that I can continue on with life
in spite of everything.

#action #attraction #breath #caring #energy #expression #harmony #relationship #sex #tao