Gazing in the Mirror

January 2 - Normality

Life is what happens to you while
you're busy making other plans.
~ Allen Saunders

Every man has to interpret the universe
in terms of his own thinking and personal
relationships, and that in order to do it,
he has to have faith and confidence in
his own interpretation.
~ Ernest Holmes

I once saw a bit of humor – "Normal is a setting on the washing machine." It is funny and it's true. Today our "normal" lives must resume their usual pace as we move into the first possible workday of the new year. Since Thanksgiving (and maybe even before) I have been on "holiday" time and as I live a full life something has to give when something more is added. So I've not been finding much time to work on recording our financial books for use by our accountants in preparing our taxes. I thought I might work on this a bit between Christmas and New Years but oh well . . . I just haven't been in the mood. I've been recovering from the push and rush of the holiday season and the days have just flown by.

It is now high time to re-acclimate myself with daily reality once again. I must face giving up some of the "playing" I've been doing in my R & R mindset and get back to the need for attending to business. I don't want to forget to at least "play" a little to keep from becoming too heavy. So I am restructuring my time today and it feels good. One – continue my strategy of eating for my own biology because I really do prefer being healthy. Maybe I'll get dressed earlier in the day (or not).  My pjs are so comfortable and I can work in them because I work at home until afternoon when I leave to my writing retreat.  I am craving putting order into my chaos.  Human beings generally like ideas of "normality". A normal "working" day without giving up the luxury I've had for over 30 years now to drop work to attend to family and friends when they need me. In my heart that is part of the "work" I do in this lifetime.

It is the natural state of the universe to be orderly even as it is equally natural for the unexpected, the sudden, the unusual to fill our days just as surely. The paradoxes of Life. John Lennon's song lyrics came by way of the quote by Allen Saunders above.  I like catching up with friend's I rarely have time to communicate with when I can.  Good news from friend's can lift our spirits.

What is normal anyway ? Just another year in motion, but all is well really.  We often yearn for a relaxed existence. Maybe not "normal" but "more relaxed". Less to feel responsible for.  I've been there in overwhelm and I deeply appreciate a slower pace of life.  Having health, love and plenty to eat is enough really. I've had it "more relaxed" since completing the estate work for my deceased parents.  I love them dearly still and miss them terribly. The last few years have been busy and hectic but there is more space in my life now.  I spent a couple of years sandwiched between my birth family and my married family.  "Normal" isn't static and it isn't even a reality. There is only "what is". Whatever is going on in this present moment is as close to normal as any of us ever get.

My youngest sister continues to worry and harass me and due to her mental state of mind that is likely not to end until one of us is dead.  I am grateful that my other sister and I were not torn apart during that intense period of time after our mom died.  

My parents decline was a natural outcome of life and aging.  At almost 66 years old, I am having to come to terms with the impacts of aging on my own body.  My aging does not feel normal to me and I still have two teenage sons at home. Life with my boys does not know the word "normal" but we have our routines. With the passing of the holiday season it does feel surprisingly good to be a bit more on the "normal" side of things for now.  2020 is likely to be an intense year with the presidential campaign season heating up.  

~ perspective

I would rather be natural which ishow I am interpreting my life generally these days.When perceptions of normality interferewith our reaching our potential, the worldand humanity would be better servedby our eccentricities.Normalcy is an illusion created whenrisk is so minimized that terminal boredombecomes a serious threat.I do appreciate structure, order andpredictability because these give me enoughrelief to find the space to pursue my dreams.Normal is not reality which can be anywherebetween brutal and beautiful because"normal" does not actually exist.

#aging #family #friendship #goals #normal #order #play #reality #taxes #work