32 | Reprecussions

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SUTTON32

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SUTTON
32. repercussions

The world has a fucked up way of working itself out. A part of me would love to believe that it's a human perception. We allow our human emotions to take control of our lives, and therefore, our probability to be met with these certain changes is increased by a tenfold.

I used to think that humans were easy; to understand, to control, and to manipulate until I broke our rule. Until my lips touched Keegan's and he whispered in my ear. Until I saw Silas and the way the anger closed through him. And I couldn't help but believe that this is what I wanted. I wanted him jealous. I wanted him to be mad, right?

My palm collected the tiny droplets of water on my skin as I wiped my hand against the steam shower mirror revealing my frowning face that had just met the heated fountain from my shower head. I watched as my chest rose and fell before swiping my soaked face with the back of my hand.

My memories flashed in my mind of Silas standing up abruptly from his chair and storming away in a fit of anger.

I shook my hand before snatching up the towel on from the countertop and beginning to scrub down my saturated body. The rough towel hit my skin and I scrubbed it against my delicate skin, leaving red marks.

"Sutton," Keegan called out my name as he followed me inside my parent's house. Tears stung my eyes as they blended into the water already on my face. My hands were trapped inside my hair as I tried to process what the fuck was going on in my life.

The world was turned upon its head and I couldn't figure out what I wanted. That kiss was a change. Good or bad, I didn't know. But what I did know is that I needed to be on my own to figure that out.

"Not now, Keegan," I muttered as I began to climb the stairs to my room. "I need space, please."

My feet left soft imprints on the stairs which I knew my mom was going to kill me for but right there and then, I didn't care.

My mind ranged as I felt a pitch of agony rush up into my heart when I heard Keegan mutter a simple "okay" and step away.

After a forced shower and possibly an hour of washing my hair, combing it out, and moisturizing, I slip my clothes on before stumbling out of my bathroom and into my room, only to sit on my bed and ponder out life.

My heart raced as I stared at the wall; the plain white wall.

"Smiley... Are you okay?" Without knocking, my mom stepped into my room. I could tell the festivities were long over after I finished my shower and felt the silence reign over the house. I jerked my head up before lowering it again.

I could have said something. I didn't want to. What good would that fucking make? I'm a fake and now things have just gotten real. A little too real.

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