Counting Minutes | Gay MxM |

45. First Time

And as the days passed, turning into weeks, I actually felt like I was making progress. Real progress. I had never felt so strong before. For now, Mr. Xavier wanted me to focus mostly on moving things around my home and interacting with my family. My mom started visiting me every evening, and there was only a couple of times when I couldn't let her in my room. I was so excited about that. My sisters came to see me often as well, and the meetings usually were a bit awkward, but in time, it got easier to talk with them. I even got to see my grandfather a few times.

And then it was my father's turn.

I was just as nervous about it as when I was going to see my mom for the first time. I had two days to prepare for it, and even though I knew it would go well, I still had trouble staying calm that day.

I was glad when the evening arrived, and I stepped closer to my open door to wait for my father. Waiting was always the worst part. It never seemed to get any easier.

But then I could hear his footsteps. I heard my mom wishing him good luck and reminding him of all the rules we already discussed. He told her he would be extra careful. And then, he climbed up. I had to look away the second I saw the top of his head.

A few seconds later he stopped, and I heard him taking a deep breath.

"Jordan..." he spoke my name quietly, sounding almost surprised to see me. "I'm... I'm here," he added with a weak voice.

I took a couple of deep breaths before I peered at him. I was happy to notice I didn't feel too uncomfortable, and I wished I really was getting used to meeting people now, but I was still nervous.

But it went surprisingly well. My dad seemed really happy to be finally able to talk to me face-to-face, and I sure was glad to see him after such a long time. It was clear that he, too, had trouble staying calm, especially when he apologized for ruining my life. I don't think he believed me when I said I didn't blame him at all, which was true. He couldn't have possibly known what would happen if he let go of my hand.

And then he turned to look at Blake, and he said the sweetest thing to him.

"You have brought life back into this house. My wife is singing again, my daughters are happier, and I have never seen my son so calm and healthy before. If there's anything you need, just name it, because I can't think of a way to thank you enough for everything you've done for us."

He spoke with tears in his eyes. It almost made me cry as well.

My father didn't stay longer than a couple of minutes after that so I wouldn't get overwhelmed and ruin my progress, but he promised to come to see me more often from now on. I felt warm and happy and hopeful as I watched him return back downstairs.

After that, the only person in my immediate family I still hadn't seen face-to-face was my older sister, Jasmine, and I couldn't wait to get to see her. She promised to come to stay with us a few days next week, so it wouldn't even take that long before I could finally see her.

Since there was so much going on in my life now – new exercises, meeting people every evening, and getting ready to push my limits even further – I was usually quite overwhelmed by the nightfall. It was the time I always needed Blake the most because without him, I would break. It really helped me to know that once it was time to go to bed, I could curl up against his side and hide from the world under his arm. That thought always gave me strength whenever I needed it.

I also had another reason to look forward to the evenings.

I was drying my hair while Blake was taking a shower behind me. Blake had given me a new haircut a few days ago since his original work had been drastically uneven. I was happy to say I was now completely used to having shoulder-length hair, but I didn't want to cut it even shorter. I really liked the way it was now.