Counting Minutes | Gay MxM |

38. Forgetting Something

He laughed and nodded. "Right."

I kissed his cheek, forgetting all about our conversation when I did that. How many times had I seen people on TV doing that, and wished I could be able to do it too? How long had I wished I had someone standing next to me? Someone who loved me and cared for me? Someone I could turn to and talk to and show my affection to? Now I had that, and there was no trace of fear in my mind, only butterflies in my stomach.

He gave me a goofy smile, looking like a cartoon character in love. I smirked and patted his shoulder. "Go wash your hands. Dinner is almost ready," I said and watched as he reluctantly left the kitchen.

I kept smiling while I took the salmon out of the oven and checked the potatoes. I let them boil a little bit longer, while I grabbed two sets of glasses, forks, and knives and placed them on my table. I had to stop to stare at them for a moment. There had never been two sets of anything in my home before... I touched the second glass gently, smiling at the sight of my small table. Who could've thought that there would be a time when I wasn't eating my dinner alone? Not me, that was for sure.

When I was taking two plates out of the cupboard, I heard Blake stepping out of the bathroom. I expected him to come straight back to me, but when I was pouring the water out of the kettle, he was still in my living room. I put the kettle away and peered into the living room to see where my boyfriend had gone, and saw him standing next to my see-through walls.

Blake didn't seem to notice me standing there, so I stayed silent and just admired the god that was now living with me. I could have stood there for days and just watch him. Well, my clocks didn't let me do that, but for now, I had a couple of minutes to spare, so I enjoyed the moment to the fullest. He was clearly deep in his thoughts while he stared at the snowy landscape in complete silence. I almost asked what he was thinking about, but I didn't want to destroy that moment.

I leaned against the framework with a smile on my face, but soon that smile started to fade. Blake had no expression on his face, but to me, he looked almost... sad. Suddenly he didn't look like a god any more – he looked trapped. Trapped like a wild eagle, who could no longer spread his wings and soar through the sky. His life was there, just outside the walls that kept me in my mental cage.

"Why did you stay?" I asked with a heavy heart.

"Stay?" he repeated and turned to look at me.

"Here, with me," I spoke quietly. "This kind of life isn't worth living."

"What's going on?" he asked slowly and walked to me. "You were one big smile just a minute ago."

"You miss your old life," I said, trying not to sound like I was accusing him. "You would be happier if you didn't stay here."

"I miss parts of it," he nodded, speaking slowly, "but not all of it. And I am happiest with you."

"You gave up everything..." I muttered. "For someone who's barely even human."

"Jordan, I have really strong feelings for you," he said sternly. "What I gave up was a pretty damn pathetic life, so I could be happy, have a roof over my head and people who care about me. And I don't see a tail attached to your butt, so I'm pretty sure you are human."

"You know what I mean," I said.

"Don't do that, baby," he said tenderly and wrapped his arms gently and carefully around me. "Don't think like that. You have come so far already."

"What if this is as far as I can go?" I whispered. "Could you live here with me forever?"

"Of course," he said without hesitation, but I knew he was lying. "I'll stay here with you forever if that's what it takes."