The Weeping One (MXW)

Does It Ever Get Better?

***Aubrey's POV***

Six months earlier-

December 25, 2018

Christmas.

My absolute favorite holiday. My mom always decorates multiple trees. Lights hang in icicles around the perimeter of the roof. Fresh Christmas tree limbs decorated with silk flowers hang over every arch and doorway. She even hangs that awful plastic mistletoe directly above the entry to the kitchen.

Every tree has a different theme. Ornaments carefully placed in every inch of the tree. You would think the limbs would break from the weight of the items she has gorged into every nook and cranny.

Food covers every inch of the counters. Ham, turkey, Mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, deviled eggs, pie, brownies, rolls, veggies, casseroles, a buffet fit for a hundred people. Only 75 usually show. Christmas music fills the air.

It's magical. Usually.

This year, my mom is exhausted. Pain is aching her very small frame. My grandma hasn't left her room in days. It's depressing and heart breaking. It's also so unusual. My mom is a ball of energy generally. Grandma is always flittering around the house griping, laughing, cleaning and cutting you deeper with her glares than any weapon could hope to.

I'm worried. I'm trying to be strong. In eleven days I watched the two strongest women I know rapidly deteriorate. We went to doctors appointments daily. No answers. Just more appointments. Last night I heard grandma laughing for the first time in weeks. She was alone in her room. It was creepy. She stared at the ceiling, holding an invisible conversation with some one.

The day before, Grandma had snapped and gotten aggressive at the doctors and my mom. I'm so concerned. I'm not sure what the hell is going on. It's scary. But, it's Christmas. And, we have to try to be happy. No one is aware of what has been going on. I tried to talk to them. They don't believe me. Today will be the first time the see for theirselves. That causes me unrelenting stress.

First thing this morning I woke everyone up for gifts. I am so excited. I spent so much time picking every perfect gift. I hope they love them. Time had healed so many wounds. I moved my mom and grandma in with me about seven months ago. We have all gotten closer. Grandma hasn't always been my biggest fan. But, a few years ago I won her over. After getting my license, we spent many shopping trips together. Now, she is my favorite company.

Mom has just started warming up to me. It only took 21 years. She hugged me the other day. I cried like a big baby. That hug meant everything to me. Now I spend hours sitting on her bed, adjusting her many pillows, holding her hand and I kiss her good night every single time she goes to sleep. That's a lot, she takes too many naps now days.

She promised she would spend all day awake. That made me smile. I want to soak up every minute I have with her. I hope our lives continue to go smoothly. I want to finally know what it feels like to be a daughter with a mom. She even stays up sometimes and watches Hallmark movies with me late into the night. They are cheesy but, her eyes light up every time. I could watch the walls with her and I would be satisfied. Sometimes I do, while she's sleeping.

She's on the couch now. Her tiny 75 pounds barely affecting the couch cushions. She eats, a lot. But, she continues to lose weight. Her arms are punny. I have a hard time holding her frail hands. I feel like at any minute, I could break her tiny bones. That scares me.