Chapter 59

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Clark

I suddenly woke up and sat up immediately. I gasp for air trying to catch my breath. I gulp hard as i scan the empty room. This room seems familiar.. Then flashes of events invaded my mind I immediately closed my eyes and  beads of sweat was already forming on my forehead. Please stop... I whispered to myself.. Just forget everything.. Just forget. I was startled when the doors opened then revealed the person i longed and yet hate to see. Her beautiful face reflected worry as she hurried by my side. "Princess are you okay?" she asked softly just like how i remembered it to be. I just scanned her face memorizing every detail. She was about to caress my face when i moved away. "I'm fine.." she retracted her hand then in defeat she kept it on her side while moving one step backwards. I heard her sigh heavily. "Why didn't you tell anyone or even your friends that she's been treating you wrongly?" she asked. I did not dare to look at her instead i look down and just stared at my hand clasp together.  "because I never thought it was a big deal.." i said softy. "What?! Clarke.. she almost killed you!!! You have bruises and cuts all over your body! That bruised on your neck means she's been choking you to death and that's what you call not a big deal?!? I saw her raising a belt on you and I'm sure that wasn't the first time! And the worst thing is you just let her hurt you!!! I wanted to kill her for-" " You don't have the right to say this things to me!!"I cut her off and shouted back. My blood boiled as if she was different. She left me and erased my memories... They are both the same.. They both tortured me with pain. Eco physically and her emotionally.. I look at her with pain and anger" You don't have the right.. Cause from the start you were the one left me and I blamed you for everything that happened in my life now!" She gasp in shock she look at my eyes and i didn't dare to look away. I wanted to let her know that my memories came back and then recognition passed into that beautiful greens. Her emotions become transparent" Clarke..-" " Don't you fucking dare give me petty reasons!! Yes! I did not do anything to Eco when in fact I can just burn her to death but I've come to love the pain and you know why? Because each passing day I've come to remember you and that fucking hurts.. I chose to be physically tortured for me to become numb and forget you!!!" i said angrily cutting her off. I felt tears on my eyes and I saw hers too. She looked guilty, hurt and other emotions in that beautiful greens. The room grew silent and not one of us dare to even move. Till a silent knock heard and revealed Nyoko. The old man looked guilty as he stared at me. He cleared his throat and said "sorry to interrupt but its time for your meds" i can sense he is nervous maybe because he already knew that i regained my memories. I immediately removed the gadgets attached to my arms. "Clarke stop that you are gonna hurt yourself" lexa said with concern and i almost laughed."I don't need or want your help!!" i shouted. I continued to move out of the bed and walked towards the door Nyoko seemed stuck in his place and was shock to the events unveiling before him. Lexa grabbed my arm making me stop, she pulled me back making me face her. I pulled my hand back harshly suppressing the electricity run through my body from our contact. And i know she felt it too for i can see it in her eyes. "I'm sorry.."she said in pain." I'm just trying to protect you.. " "I DON'T NEED YOUR PROTECTION!!! "i shouted in anger. My suppressed feelings came out and hunted me in the end then I cried in pain. Lexa tried to reach out to me but i moved away." don't you dare touch me.. How could you do this to me..i have the right to decide! You can't just erase my memories whenever you want!!!!! Its my decision not yours!! Its my memories not yours!!!! They are mine to keep.." i felt my knees grow weak and my heart burning in the intense emotions i felt. I looked down not meeting her greens. I can sense her pain also but as much as i want to run and hold her in my arms and pretend that everything will be perfect from now on.. It would be too good to be true. "I hate you..." i half-whispered. She gasp in pain trying to suppress her sob."I know and I don't blame you.. I'm sorry Clarke..I fucked up but its the only way to keep you safe.. " she said and struggled to composed herself. "If only you knew how much i longed to be with you..."   "shut-up!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!!!" i cut her off while covering my ears. "If you want me to forget you that badly then from now on stay away from me.. I don't want to see your face ever again!" i said and gathered all my strength to look at that beautiful face one last time. I saw pain written all over her face. She was hurt indeed but doesn't she know she've done worst to me?"Goodbye Lexa.." then without letting her respond i moved away. I look at Nyoko and he slowly moved out of my way. He looked down ashamed of what he did to me. From now on I will live my life like what I want it to be.

Nyoko

The sky princess left forever just like what the Queen wants.. Away from her.. I look at Lexa and almost broke down in tears as I saw hurt written all over her face. She kneeled down covered her face, broke down and cry.. "Lexa..."  "Just leave me for a moment Nyoko.." she said half-whispered. I nod and quietly left the room. I sighed heavily and was startled to see the commander leaning on the wall. Base on her face I'm sure she knew already what happened. She looked up and sadness passed her beautiful brown eyes. I sighed again and shake my head. I told these fools that there is more to life.. But they didn't listen now look what happened.. They are now paying the price and being hunted by the past.

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