Chapter 46

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Lexa

I can feel my jaws aching as i clenched them together, my nails are scratching my skin as i made a fist trying to control my emotions from bursting. I looked away from the eye sore scene and held my breath. I know Emily noticed how i struggled to remain composed that's why i was grateful enough when Nyoko pulled me out from that misery. He called my attention to discuss the situation. Emily and I left the sky princess under her lover and friends aid. I signalled Octavia to look after them which she immediately responded by bowing. I look at the princess one more time before turning away. We moved towards the other room where there is a one way glass mirror leading to the other room where the princess was confined. Monitors are plastered under and at the side of the one way glass. I can still see them, Echo hovering at the sleeping princess..my princess while Octavia remained on guard at the door,and Allison and Raven sitting at the couch near the princess bed. "Lexa you are burning holes in her head." Emily commented while following my gaze. "believe me i would love to do that." i said not removing my deadly gaze at the Raven head girl. Nyoko cleared his throat drawing  our attention towards him. I can sense that whatever he's going to tell us privately is bad news due to the fact that he is fidgeting in his place and beads of sweat is already forming on his forehead. I leaned my palms on the table while waiting for him to speak. "ahm.. I think you're not going to like this Lexa.." he started. "I'm not liking everything today so just tell me what's going on Nyoko.. my patience are running low." i said in deadly tone that could make all my subjects shiver. Emily leaned her back on the wall and crossed her arms as we waited for the old man to explain the situation."The princess regained her memories... the ones we erased is now slowly coming back.. Raven was right but i have to make an excuse in order to divert them from the truth... If we undergo another process of erasing her memories her brain might not take it anymore..except if we remove the bracelet, she will grow stronger due to her powers.." the room grew silent. I hated myself for doing this to her.. I despised myself for hurting her.. I really don't deserve her.. I turned to the princess again and  didn't notice that  i was already in tears not until Emily draw my attention by calling my name with concern in her eyes. I saw Nyoko bowed his head with sadness written all over his face. I have to decide sooner or later.. In order to protect her even it meant that she will hate me or loath me for this i didn't mind as long as i know she will be forever safe. "I'm sorry Clark..." i whispered while watching her from a far. I moved towards the mirror glass put my right hand on it trying to reach her even if she's unreachable... Longing for her, i caressed her image. "Lexa..you don't need to this.." Nyoko said with sadness. "No.. I need to do this.." i answered. "You've sacrificed enough can't you see God already made a way.. Who would've  thought this could happen?our invention is so powerful it can permanently alter a person's brain but look what happened? Fate take its lead, you just have to embrace it.. Sure she might hate you at first knowing you took something from her but I'm sure she will forgive you in the long run.. The sky princess doesn't hold grudges especially from you who she loved dearly same as you love her..you even defied fate just to keep her safe.. Unconditional love is not enough to describe it. " Nyoko continued trying to reason out with me but my decision is already final." Prepare the machine..remove her bracelet and re-do the process again.. Include all the sky ladies "i said with no emotions in my voice." But-" i cut him off" that's an order. "i said with a commanding voice. I straightened my back and walked away as I reach the door" do it as soon as possible. " i ordered again before completely went out of the room. I didn't dare to take a glimpse of her cause i know I'll just broke down. I walked towards the throne room every servant and guards stops when they saw me and bowed. I know i have that deadly aura due to the intensity of my emotions. I heard heda roaring while flying around the castle she must have sense my distress. Emily was just silently following me not daring saying a word. I reached the throne room and sat at my throne. I scanned the luxurious wide room and look out the big tall windows where i could see heda flapping his majestic wings. This is who I am. I am the grounder Queen.. Queen of the 12 clans but now 13..the ruler of rulers.. And there is no weakness in my name. I put on my stoic face and shut off my emotions. This is how it should be.

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