On My Way to Find You || Genos X Reader

"Mother Knows Best"

As of Before...

I need to be the one to kill Genos. I need to be the one who will risk it all. I'm the one honored to kill Genos. This will not be for nothing. I guarantee that.

"Are you still going to fight?" Genos asked.

With a hand, I removed the eyepatch and let it fall onto the bloody concrete. I noticed the patch was damp from my tears. My head then lifted up as I stared straight at him committed.

"Hell yeah," I exhaled painfully.

Your POV

Through the whole carriage ride back to the castle, I stared at my feet as I hadn't said a single word to Edisu yet. My eyes felt so strained, hot and tired from crying so much.

Mental pain. It's killing me.

The horror in Genos' eyes when I had hastily killed him in one blow through his main core with my kagune. His parts were no longer to be fixed.

I am a horrible person. The worst. I continued to destroy him to prevent myself from looking at him. I teared him apart, piece by piece with the strongest hatred I contained within me. But it was the hatred of Edisu making me do this. For causing all of this.

I stomped on his corpse, crying and screaming every time I put my foot down. The clang of metal against the floor echoed in my ears. When I couldn't see his face anymore, I finally fell to my knees and broke down shaking with disgusting tears and insane crying.

I couldn't even pick myself up after that mess that Tsukiyama made guards assist me out. As they did, I could only hear my breathing and the echoed tapping of my and the guards' shoes as they carried me out.

As I looked around, everything was slowed down. The ghouls' clapping and cheering muffled through my ears. I knew from this day on, I am a whole different person. I'm lost...gone.

"[Y/N]." Sebastian's voice came to my left. Out the door, Sebastian stood by to wait. Edisu's back was facing me as she walked toward the gates of the mansion. I had been spaced out too much, I hadn't known we already arrived at the castle.

Still without a word, Sebastian helped me down, and I started walking, still staring off. I had played the battle over and over in my head many times.

Replaying once again, I covered my mouth with a hand to sob dryly and silently.

"Fantastic work today," Edisu told me as we walked the halls. "Get cleaned up, and we will talk. Meet down in the basement. Afterward, you are free to go to bed."

"Mm." I only slightly nod at the carpet as I stopped by my door.

Luckily, Levi wasn't sitting in my office chair, since he may ask questions. Everyone's probably asleep by now too.

After a long shower of bawling than bathing, I slipped on something simple like a hoodie and leggings before making my way to the basement.

I sat on a chair in the middle of the torture supplies around me, staring at Edisu's shoes blankly as my body literally felt like it was crushed.

"You were great today." Her voice almost blends in with the thick humidity of the basement.

"Now, I'm sure you hate me," she continues when I hadn't answer, "but I'm sure you're wondering how I did this?"