On My Way to Find You || Genos X Reader

I'll Do It For Who?

Your POV

After Tsukiyama's pleasure, I returned back to the castle and followed Edisu down the basement. There, it was obvious what would happen.

And her tortures make it twice the pain. As she beats me up, I wonder why I can't seem to release my kagune. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. I tried forcing myself as well, but it never worked.

She grabbed my hair to make sure I was looking right in her face. "What the hell was that back there?!" She scolded. "He wasn't even that good. You wasted your kagune, filth!"

"I'm s-sorry, M-Master Edisu," I exhale in pain. "I-I promise I will try harder."

"You better!" She hisses, slapping me and I go back to staring at the floor blankly.

I then suddenly snap my head toward her. "I WILL!" I yell aggressively, and she flinches and I then soften my emotions suddenly feeling intimidated.

"What's wrong?" She squints her eyes in disgust. "Every now and then, when we have fights or I beat you, you always seem to have that one little courage

"Do you think you're so tough because you've improved? [Y/N], you suck! You've been living your luxurious little life than being the best!"

Breathing heavily, I narrow my eyes angrily at her to insult me like that. She notices and raises an eyebrow. "See? That. That look in your face. What is that? Are you saying...that now that you've released your kagune, you think you can try to fight me in the future?"

I don't answer as I stayed quiet. "You couldnt even beat him. What makes you think you can beat me?" She spat on my face.

She then raises an eyebrow as if realizing something. "Is there...someone you're trying to...get back to?"

That's when my expression softened, and I backed up a little. She then raised her leg at my stomach. She pushed harshly, sending me back to the floor.

"Was I not clear that you're staying here forever?!" She scolded, hovering over me mad as hell.

"You can try escaping or fighting me," she hissed, "but trust me, you won't accomplish either or."

And with that, she left, leaving me alone to hug myself on the floor as I sobbed once again. I had really missed Sensei and even Genos.

After a while, I went back to my room and stared at myself in the mirror.

She's right. I think I am....trying to get back to someone. That's why I want to stay alive. But for who?

Sensei is my guardian and all but...that's not the right feeling of why I want to stay alive. Then..for who?

Genos...? Really? Or am I staying alive for my own good?

"You do it for her," I address myself in the mirror and studying myself carefully. And that's when I knew the answer.

"That is to say, I'll do it for him."

I'm going to be stuck in this hellhole.

But I knew that as of today, I must learn to practice using my kagune again if I ever do have a chance to defeat Edisu in the future.

I'm going to be in so much pain again.

I am going to die here this time.

I'm going to end up changing into someone else, forgetting who I once was again.

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(A/N)

Hope you guys got the Steven Universe reference :')

And now this is where I'll stop and the story will be pending once again. But stay tuned! :)