We finally got back to Ski's place and gave Scarlet to try and calm her down.
"Thanks guys."
"No problem. Sooooo What happened."
"Once I had gotten home Emily my dads girlfriend came and was like 'where were you' 'your dad must be so disappointed' 'you're worthless' and all this other stuff. And for a minute I started to believe it."
"You're not worthless and..."
I waited for him to continue.
"We've been talking about moving. All of us."
"Wha-"
"Just hear me out! Our rap careers have been taking off and we all agreed to be down."
"I don't- my dad I can't leave him with her."
"Please you have to think about it, I can tell you're not happy here." Ski said
"I- I will think about it but where would we live?"
"L.A."
"Woah, that's kinda far."
"I mean..." Lucas trailed
"To get your mind off of it, we are all going to the game after school tomorrow." Isaiah said
"What game?" I asked
"East Vally vs. Highpoint."
I have no idea why they play us, they never win.
"Damn, yeah we going." Jahseh said speaking for all of us
"Uh-after today do you think I'm going to be able to go to a football game."
"That's why you'll stay over here until you decide what you wanna do."
"I don't k-"
"Just trust me on this."
I didn't know whether or not I should stay, I wanna be there for him but if he keeps getting hurt I can't help it.
"Fine."
"Yay!" He cheered like a little child
*Later that night*
I was in Jah's room listening to some music while he was in the living room with everybody else. I was in a revenge hoodie which was soft and warm. Then my anxiety kicked in.
Is my dad ok
I hope he's not worried
What if he's really mad if I left
What if he does something
Will he start smoking again
Why did I let Jahseh talk me into this
This was such a bad idea
What if Emily was right
What if I am worthless
Nobody cares
They just feel bad
What if they're all talking about me
Then I heard them laughing
They're probably laughing at how pathetic I am
And how sad
And miserable
FUCK
I got sadder and sadder as the thoughts sunk in to my head. This is exactly why I wanted to cut everybody off they're the reason why I'm feeling this way if I had no friends then my anxiety wouldn't have them to worry about. I've got to get out of here. I got up and put my shoes back on. I opened the door going straight through the living room ignoring everybody. I shut the door and went on my way home.
"Aye Scarlet!"
You don't need him
Yes you do
Get out of my head Jahseh I don't want you here
Why and yes you do
That's why, you keep determining how I feel and make me question everything.
But am I wrong though
Stop
Come back
No for the last time get out of my head
But if I leave, will it really change anything
Tears streamed down my eyes.
YOU ARE READING
Don't know where I stand
FanfictionScarlet doesn't know where she stands. Yes she has friends but she does't feel like any of them classify her as a best friend. She's very lost, so over the summer she cuts everybody off and doesn't talk to anyone. Until she meets X-Jah. He's confuse...
