Don't know where I stand

2

Out of all the seats he chooses to sit next to me.

"What's up!" He said with questionable amounts of energy for it being 7 AM.

I kissed my teeth and put my headphones in.

"Damn ain't gotta be rude to a nigga."

I put on my R&B playlist and continued to just sit there. A few minutes later I feel someone rip out one of my headphones.

"why aren't you talking?" He asked.

I put it back in and continued to just chill.

"Alright class well um obviously I'm Ms.Conner and well I'm laid back unless you try anything stupid. So y'all can catch up with each other so yeah. That's about it."

I pulled out my phone and just scrolled through Instagram videos and I felt someone staring at me but it wasn't him I look forward and saw my old friends quickly looking away. I scoffed and looked back at my phone.

Next thing I know my phone is ripped out of my hands by him.

"Ay you got no business taking my phone," I said trying to remain calm.

"Then talk to me. Like I'm not even coming off as rude or anything," He said.

"Ok?"

"So I want conversation," he persisted.

"And I want my phone back."

"Ok well then talk to me."

"You know ion even want it like that," I said trying to psych him out.

"Alright well you won't mind if I threw it across the room."

I looked at him with stinge.

"Man can I please just have my phone back?" I pleaded.

"What's your name?"

"Scarlet."

"I like that. I'm Ski."

I looked at him sideways.

"Now can I have it?" I asked.

"Nope! Now why are you being so mean?"

"Can I please just have my phone back?" I said but it sorta came out as a yell.

He sighed and passed me back my phone. I slipped my phone under my thigh and put my head down for the remainder of class.

*Lunch*

I sat down at a crowd-less table and sipped on my coffee. Being here alone made me think of how different things are now. I used to meet my friends in our spot outside in the courtyard everyday, just because we thought eating in the cafeteria was losers. It'd always be us, I'd be surrounded by them constantly. Laughing, yelling, just doing what we do. But here, it's just so quiet, and I actually enjoy it.  But that's what happens when you realize how nobody cares for you as you endlessly cared for them. This is me prioritizing myself over people who probably talk assloads of shit about me behind my back.

"Hey scarlet!" It was Ski from before. 

I sighed and continued to ignore him.

"Can you just talk to me?" He asked.

"Dude I don't even know you?!"

"So that should be more of the reason to open up to me. You don't me so how can I hurt you. What you don't know can't hurt you," he nudged me.

"You make literally no sense," I looked away from him. 

Then he looked around and started yelling for someone named Jah. 

"What're you doing?"

"Calling my friend over," He said in a duh tone.

His friend came over and it was the one with half black and half blonde locs. Great.

"Vro can you work some of your magic with her. She's acted mad depressed like how you used to."

I eyed him at the description of me.

"Let's talk," his friend suggested.

"I'm good."

"We don't have to talk out here."

"I don't wanna talk about it anywhere."

"Come on! Let's go in the hallway or something!" He raised his voice.

"No." I said firmly

He looked at me deeply and I subtly felt walls of solitude melt away at the sight of his dark brown eyes. He got up and I followed behind him, he took me into an empty classroom.

"So what's going on?" He sat on a desk. 

"I just don't want any new friends," I looked at my shoes. 

"Why?"

"Cause,  it's a lot easier to be alone than around people who make me feel shitty everyday. I won't have to worry about who's fake and who's not. I don't have to be upset with myself and everyone else because I feel unimportant. If I have no friends I won't feel that way."

I had no idea what compelled me to say all of this to him, I don't even know why I followed him. But there was a small part of me that hoped that he stayed. Just a tiny part. 

"I understand that loneliness seems like the answer to everything, but it's not. Trust me. With that mentality you will drive yourself insane, and then there will be nothing left to consume you but your thoughts and feelings. And that's super fucking scary. And it'll make you miss on super cool people like me and Stokeley."

"Stokeley?" 

"They guy who sat next you?"

"Oh he told me his name was Ski," he gave a light laugh.

"Ugh. By the way. I'm Jahseh," He smiled.