I'm EVE

Fucking Steve - Chapter 10°

Late update pls vote x

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Guilt,

Guilt isn't always a rational thing , it's a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not , I know I do . Guilt and regret come as the consequences of our decisions , Long story short I made people that cared about me suffer in the worst way ....And it may be the lowest feeling in the entire spectrum of emotions, because it makes you feel worthless and utterly alone and that's exactly what I'm feeling right now , as if no one else feels this way and as if I am not even worthy of someone else's comfort .

Will I ever get over it ? I don't think so.. it doesn't seem to go away at least not any time soon ,

I've been walking for almost two hours now since I left 'the wood house' holding the book of Wuthering Heights close to my chest . It's pitch dark outside and it looks like it's going to rain soon , as a big rain drop comes down and hits me square between my eyebrows in this cold Autumn night , I've been wondering why it hasn't rained yet considering that we're in late October and It's New York we're talking about .

As I already said guilt laid like a rock in my heart , lump in my throat . I didn't have the gut to ask Oliver why didn't he come to school today but I guess after what just happened everything became loud and clear . I think it's safe to say that , his words kept playing on my mind like a broken record.

« WHO ARE YOU ? » HE SAID

For a split second I thought I was going to come clean and tell him everything , tell him who I truly am , tell him why I did all of this and tell him how much I love him and how much I crave his company .

But then again he needs to forget about me , the old me . He needs to forget about Alex , the girl who wrecked everyone's life , that girl's gone now . She died at the incident that day and everybody else needs to face the truth just like I need to .

I can't take the image of him off of my brain , He was so vulnerable so broken . I noticed how tired and desperate he looked , the circles under his eyes helped assuming that he really haven't taken much of a sleep like a normal human being for a long time , I can't believe I didn't take in the change in his appearance since the first day I came back .

He was In that state because of me and I know I need to help him no matter how long it takes me , help him as Eve not Alex !

As I approach the end of the street , I know that I'm still a few blocks away from my house , I see a tall figure standing across the street , the person wearing all black doesn't move . He just stares at me , I blink my eyes a few times and he disappears from my view . I try to quicken my pace and look for a group of people to engage in but the emptiness of the street doesn't really help..

I can still feel someone walking right behind , someone who's been following me all along and I wonder who could it be , the brave girl I am , I know I can't turn around and face him .

Fear gets the best of me and I start running , my heart's hammering inside my chest , I'm panting so fast now like I just ran a whole marathon until I trip and fall on my knees . GREAT !

While , Two giant hands grab me from behind and bring me to a chest " GET AWAY FROM ME ! " I yell at the top of my lungs shoving the person's chest and pushing him away from me as he grabs both my wrists , squeezing them making me yelp in pain , in order to stop me from ravaging his face .

I don't know why I feel immobile and helpless , I know I should probably make a run for it but as I look and stare at the guy's features . I know who it is ! The person who's been following me around and made me run of fear for my life is FUCKING STEVE !