I Dont Love You Anymore

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I'm not the only one in the picture.
I Never am.
There's always another person who your heart belongs to.
Why even talk to me?
Are you bored?
Do you like watching me struggle as I chase you like a puppy?
Do you enjoy seeing me suffer?
Do you like watching me bury my feelings deep into the depths of the earth.
Simply because I know you don't feel the same way.
Seeing me drain my heart out and then laugh about it with your friends behind closed doors.
The wicked laughs and smug grins consuming your faces.
To me it's real and this shit is serious.
I don't want fake love or your smiles of deception.
I want your honesty.
If you love me how am I supposed to know?
If you muffle them?
I don't even know what to think anymore.
I feel my brain being tortured as it leaks the remnants of me as a person.
Now you can run to him and let him have your heart.
Your time.
Your loyalty.
I could've been all you needed.
I'm done with saying words I no longer believe in anymore.
I've been upfront and threw nothing but love your way.
And you throw me bullshit.
Scraps of emotions you've left for me to pick up and put back together even though there's a massive amount of pieces missing.
It's unfair and burns me up inside.
I tell my parents about you and how much I love you.
And when they asked me about you, I didn't even know what to tell them.
I'm giving up on you, I'm sorry I couldn't reach you.
I can't keep reaching for something that won't take my hand.
I won't try and save you anymore.
But you don't have to worry anymore;
you don't have to hide your true self from me.
You were the one I loved.
I'm saying my goodbyes now.
Because I don't love you anymore.
7/18/19
8:20 PM

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