My Friend's Ex//Jungkook FF

Chapter 43

*Jungkook P.O.V.*

She's so reckless sometimes. I heard the door slam behind her after she ran into the room. I wanted to tell her to choose some clothes from my sister's room since it was clear that she didn't have anything to change into. 

I shook my head and sighed. I just don't understand girls sometimes, they think that they can handle everything, they think that they don't need help, but they do, eventually they do. I'm not saying that girls are weak, or that they are bound to be helped, but it's pretty clear that sometimes they're not meant to do certain things.

I walk into my room, and go hop into the shower. It was so nice taking off the suit, the earrings, the makeup. It's so funny, how it takes hours to make something beautiful, but seconds to destroy it. I stare at myself in the mirror, it's been so long since the last time I could be myself. Where I could laugh at things I found genuinely funny, smile at people at genuinely care about, not having to put up this act.

I took a quick shower, changed into an oversize white shirt, and some baggy pants, walked onto my bed, and turned on my laptop. A lot of people ask me what I do when I have a day off, or in my spare time. I know normally people would answer somethings like: "Pursue this hobby," or "Finish this thing," Or something, but for me doing nothing is the best type of time off I can get.

My schedule is always so packed, packed with shit that I don't care about, packed with all sorts of bullshit that I have to go through, just because my name is Jeon Jungkook, just because I was born into this family, no other reason. If I had born into another family, none of this would be any of my business.

People keep saying that I have changed, compared to who I was when I was younger. But they don't understand the things I had to go through as I grew up, the things I had to do, the rules I had to obey, the things that were taken away from me. All they see is the result of all those things, but they didn't see the process. With no process, how would there be a result?

They say I don't smile, and when I don't I look "scary" or "unhappy", and so I smile, no matter, I keep my smile, even until my face is numb, my smile is still there. They say I look tired when I slouch, so I don't, I stand straight, even when sometimes my back hurts from standing for so long. They've said...so much, so so much, and I've changed, so so much. 

I keep hearing people say that they miss the "old" me, the me where I laughed at everything, the me when I was "full of light and laughter", but tell me, who would be able to maintain sunshine and laughter everyday? Who is always filled with rainbows and candies? And who, would be the same after having to be changed from head to toe, to fit into this stupid system? This stupid society. It's funny how, only when I've changed, that you cherish who I was. 

I sigh, and put my computer away. I turn off the lights, and lay in darkness. I wasn't even sleepy, I just felt at home being surrounded by darkness. I used to be afraid of the dark believe it or not. I thought that the monsters, or ghosts, or demons would get me. But as I grew up, I found out that those monsters, those demons, those ghosts would be there for me, even if the world crashes, when this stupid system crashes, no matter if those monsters were real or not, they'd be there, and soon enough, I found a home in darkness.

Inside a black room, no one would be able to see me, to see whether I was "smiling" or "standing straight", and I wouldn't have to see anyone, wouldn't have to do anything. I would be truly myself, free from everything that was holding me right now. It's funny how something I couldn't control, the family I was born in, determined my entire life. It's like except for what they have planned for me, I am nothing. Without everything I have, I am no one. Why is this even the case? Why do I have to obey them, why do I have to put up a show, for people I don't even care for? 

I ask these questions a lot, and for some reason my mind flied to Y/N. She attracts me, maybe because how free she is, how reckless she is, she doesn't have to think about the things she does, she doesn't have to think about the consequences, or anything. She doesn't have to change for anyone, do anything for anyone she doesn't want to.

She's everything I want.

Helloooooooo, I thought of adding in a Jungkook chapter just because I felt like that a more in depth character perception was needed. Idk, do you think it was. It's here anyways ahahahaa

Thanks for watching, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and have a nice day<3