Can You Mend My Heart.

Chapter Eight.

Shanaya's POV:

"But Ami... I don't know..." I heard Hussain's voice and I frowned into my sleep. I turned in bed and opened my eyes, blinking a few times to see I was alone in the bed. I sat in the bed and rubbed my eyes and looked towards the door. Door was slightly open and I can see Hussain's back. He is standing near the door. Images from last night clouded my mind and I shuddered visibly. I gulped and tried to calm my beating heart.

"Hussain beta, She needs a little change. I know, she needs to be out of here." I heard Nasreen aunty whispering. She is keeping her voice low. Maybe she doesn't want to wake me up? Oh god, it looks like I am listening to their private conversation. I slowly got out of the bed and walked upto the dressing table. With my slightly trembling fingers I picked up the hair brush. Just as I was about to throw a hair brush so they can know I am already awake, I heard Hussain saying.

"Ami...ok. but phele I want to go and visit her mom." His morning voice is deeper than normal and I remembered how he talked to me last night. Shivering in the memory how he touched my hand I absent mindedly opened my fist causing the brush to fall on tiles with a thud. Hussain abruptly turned around and I knelt down to pick up the brush, behaving as I dint even knew he stood there. I felt his eyes on me but I dint dare look up. Why I am so scared?! I snapped at myself mentally.

From corner of my eye I saw him turning around to his mom again. He whispered something, that I dint quite catch and then he came into the room, closing the door. My heart nearly stopped as locked the door as well. I stood still near the dressing table. My hands sweating with nervousness. I so don't want to be here with him, alone.

I nervously glanced up and saw Hussain also glancing at me now and then. Our eyes met for a minute and I looked away. My heart beat increasing 5 times more. I was about to move when I heard him sigh deeply. I started brushing my hair with my shivering hands, trying to cover my face with my hair. I gulped and and took deep breaths. I hate the fear I am feeling. He will not do anything. Right?

"Shanaya. Um..about last night." He said and I stopped brushing and placed the brush back on the dressing table. I heard footsteps and glanced at him worried, he was coming near me and I instantly took a step back. He froze on his spot. He furrowned, and then his eyes widened. I refuse to meet his gaze and looked at the floor.

"I- I am sorry- seriously...I dint knew what I was doing last night- I was- it's just-" he rambled and I kept looking at my hands, fumbling with my fingers. I don't want to talk about this. I still feel  the fear he built in me, the way he behaved last night, was not ok. I saw him taking a step foward and I took a back. I glanced up and he made a sad face.

"I am sorry!" He said again. "Shanaya I wasn't trying to scare you! I am...I am so sorry." He exclaimed, taking a step closer. I can't take this anymore! I walked pass him and into the washroom, Shutting and locking the door quickly. I slide down the door and covered my face in my hands.

I am so weak!
I am so wrecked!
I am a mess!

I cried silently. Why Hussain came near me! I am not ready for this! I don't want this! He just ruined the little hope I had that I could get through this. Why!

Shehryar. My heart whimpered and I bite my lip, stopping myself from making any sound. I am his wife, he have the right to touch me...but..but.. I loved Shehryar.

It was supposed to be him. Touching me, hugging me. I burried my face in my hands and shut my eyes tightly.

It's haraam to even think about Shehryar now. My consciousness warned me and I felt like screaming. I got up and walked up to sink. I stared at myself. Blood shot eyes. I opened the tap and washed my face a few times. I looked again at the mirror and gulped. Wiping the tears away.