T H I R T Y - S I X

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When I came to, the first thing that came to my senses was the pressing of cold metal against my skin. I hissed through my teeth, arching my back a small bit in surprise. I sucked in a sharp breath, twisting my body and trying to sit up, only to jerk against cold metal restraints that had been fastened on my wrists. I could tell by my points of contact on the surface that I was barely wearing anything, I felt some sort of cloth around my chest different from an undergarment, and something that hung around my waist. I frowned and yanked hard against the material that held me, grunting when it doesn't budge. Huffing in defeat, I begin to survey my surroundings.

The space around me was too dark for even my fairly well sight to make out, I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting a little but not enough to see anything around me. Looking at it now I assume it to be an empty and small room, barely spacious enough for the strange slab of metal I lay across. I feel this strange foreign weight on my chest, not a physical object, but more as if an invisible force was weighing down on me. It wasn't painful, more uncomfortable than anything other than that. I took in a shaky breath and blinked a few more times. I weighed the risk of calling out, making my consciousness known to whomever held me here. How long had I been asleep? It couldn't have been too long, I don't feel any serious hunger or thirst, so it could be possible that my captor expected me to be sleeping for longer.

Captor,

With that word, I remember suddenly why I had been knocked out. I see an image flash in my mind, the one I love so dearly shaking and choking on his own blood, crimson liquid flowing freely from his stomach.

Vile rose in my throat and my shoulders shuddered with emotion, I try to twist my head because I know I'm about to empty the contents of my stomach. My stomach heaves and my shoulders caved as pain rolled down my spine. Nothing comes from my mouth but I continue to dry heave at the image of Loki laying there, that glazed look in his eyes so full of pain...

I heaved again.

I can't remember if I fainted on my own accord or if it was someone else's doing, but it doesn't seem to matter now. Loki is dead.

Dead.

I've seen people I care for die in the heat of battle, falling to the barren ground and moving for the last time. Honor, I'd called it, they died defending the realm of the gods and that somehow was a good thing. I know death- death has never been my friend but it's always been my neighbor, knocking on my door ever so often to take someone else from me. I know death, yet thinking it now... it's like the word is so foreign to me. Like I've never known the pain of losing a loved one, like someone has somehow forged my innocence anew only to brutally rip it from me. I've known pain, sure, but not pain like this. This was different- this sort of loss threatened to rip me apart from the inside and shred my heart into pieces.

No tears came down my face but my chest and shoulders trembled with sobs, the reality that I'd never again feel his touch against me tore me in two. Loki had let himself die, didn't try and stop it because he thought I was dead. Wherever he is now, does he know the truth? That someone faked my death? My sobs grew more intense as I realize that I'd been powerless to save him, to save myself. This grief is so much different than that I felt on Midgard when I feared Loki might've been lost. I had held hope in my heart that he had survived wherever he fell to, and grasped that and held it so tightly that there was no way I would ever let it go.

But this- I had saw the life leave him, had witnessed his eyes fade and Thor roar into the night air in anger that death could take Loki and I away from him.
My back went stiff as a series of clicking rang in my ears coming from where I had previously assumed the entryway to be.
My breath suddenly came short when I heard footsteps approaching me, slow and taunting. I forced my sobs back into my chest, my entire body shaking with fear and the lingering grief. I suddenly feel vulnerable in the thin attire I can feel wrapped around my breasts and hips, why my body is so exposed I don't understand.

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