The Light To His Lies (Loki)

T H I R T Y

The overwhelming emotions hit me hard in the chest all at once.

I thought I might pass out, might drop to my knees and weep over the woman who treated me with nothing but maternal kindness since I was a young child. Instead I just stood there, shocked. She taught me to read, to survive, she made me who I was. And just like that, she was gone.

Loki, the word crossed my mind within an instant and I shoved my own emotions aside, I knew that he had a special soft for his adoptive mother, and when I looked at him, what I saw was frightening and startling. His shoulders were tensed, he was staring at the ground, his lips parted slightly and his eyes devoid of emotion. There was this invisible wall around him, I couldn't read him at all. When I tried to feel his emotions it shocked me to my very core.

Numbness, nothing, this freezing cold that made my stomach clench. "Loki?" I called out, I reached to touch his shoulder to comfort him, to help him in his time of need. To my surprise, this sudden energy pulsed through the room and threw me against the wall. I grunted, startled. "Loki!" I cried out, he was running his fingers roughly through his hair and yelling, this disgruntled and hoarse cry that twisted my heart into two pieces. He was throwing things and shouting things I couldn't comprehend and this energy that was throwing the furniture around was keeping me pushed against the wall, my back flush against the cement wall, as if phantom fingers held me there.

"Loki, please stop this!" I yelled, I could feel his pain and regret pulsing in his veins, could feel his blame, his guilt, the raw agony and anger that was this rope tugging on my stomach and tugging it into the soles of my feet. I wanted to take away his pain, to be able to hold him like he did me in my hour of need. I needed to be there for him.

I broke away from the wall just as Loki's skin took on a blue pigment, his eyes transitioning into a sharp blood red and his fingertips emitting a frosty hue. I knew this state, still I didn't falter my stride. "Loki, stop-" I grabbed his arm and tried to turn him toward me but he flung me away. I skidded across the floor as this inexplicable pain burst on my forearm where his fingers grazed my skin. My eyes watered but I refused the react to it, shoving it far from my head and biting my lip to keep myself from screaming in agony. I didn't even dare to touch my neck with sharp aches throughout it. I had fallen on my butt against the wall, Loki's eyes were trained on me, bloodshot and strained with tears that clearly threatened to spill over.

"You can't fix this, Lyra! You can't waltz into every problem in the world and expect your good heart to make it all go away! You can't!" Loki screamed, shoving a chair to the wall with great force. It broke into several chunks, the wood splintered and pieces fell at my feet, I jumped as the wood flew against the wall. I closed my eyes and fought the tears with every bit of my will, I knew that he was in pain, that he didn't mean what he said, but I knew that they were true. It startled me, the awakening, the powerlessness I felt, but I didn't say anything about it nor did I express it.

We were both silent for a moment, I noticed Loki was looking at the large mark he had made on my arm from the mere brush of his skin onto mine, there was so much forlorn in those eyes that my heart was weakened by the sight of him. "Lyr-" He started, I interrupted him. "You're right, Loki." I said, I stood up slowly, approached him cautiously. "I'm sorry, I wish so badly I could help you." I stuttered, my eyes welled up and I took in a sturdy breath, I took a long stride forward and wrapped my arms around him.

His skin against my arms caused this horrifying sizzling sound, this cold pain shot through my arms and I felt frost biting my limbs but I ignored it because I knew that he needed me in that moment. I refused to forfeit any whimper or scre am but I couldn't stop my face from scrunching in anguish. He saw what his skin was doing to me, he tried to push me away, he resisted my embrace but I didn't stop.

"Lyra, let go, what are you doing?!" Loki strained, his voice uneven and shaky.

"I care about you too much to see you this way Loki," I choked, I couldn't stop the waver in my voice and I buried my face into his shoulder and ignoring the searing pain that was growing more intense by the second. My face was scrunched up in revolt and my hands were shaking but I didn't let that take me down.

Loki eventually relaxed, he put his hands against the small of my back, he was trembling uncontrolably, his breath was shaky and his head sunk into my shoudler, his forehead buried into my long thick brown hair. His skin, thankfully, returned to its normal color and the pain lessened, it didn't dissapear, but it was bearable, my neck still aching with the remnants of what my so called mother had done to me days before.

I knew he was crying, I could feel his emotions so robust inside me that it confused me with my own, it was so overwhelming feeling my own grief mixed with his anger and vulnerability but I refused to break down. I held him in my arms for the first time in what felt like eons, and I never wanted to let him go.

-

About an hour or two later, we had ended up against the wall, Loki had his arms wrapped around my torso, my back was pressed flush against his chest and his head was buried in my shoulder. I knew he was asleep, his breath was even and he had not moved in a long time, I, on the other hand, was on the brink of sleep but I didn't want to, I wanted to savor each sweet second I had with him. I noticed a cut on Loki's foot from his previous fit of anger. I made a mental note to heal him later.

But, eventually, my eyes drifted close through exhaustion.

Dreaming

My dream came in a mysterious mist of red swirling into my vision, a brilliant purple stone shone brightly in a background of endless void and blackness.

Suddenly, a familiar man emerged into view, his large satin purple hands were clenched into fists and his creased chin and bald head awoke recognition within me. It was evident he was a titan, and I couldn't place where I had seen him before. His eyes studied me curiously, squinting at me and a small grin curling at the corner of his lip.

He cocked his head to the side, looked at me up and down and took an intimidating step forward. I stumbled backwards, choking on words that I tried to force through my teeth but couldn't. "You mustn't be afraid, child," He said, his voice startling deep. "Who the hel are you?" I called out, he chuckled lowly. "So you are the one that Loki cares so much about. It took me a great deal of time to find out who you were," He said, my heart stopped beating, what was he talking about?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I stuttered, confused and shocked.

I found myself unable to move, my limbs frozen and my legs immobile. He reached forward, his large fingers touched my hair and I flinched. His smile was more of an excuse to bare his teeth at me, every small movement seems hostile. "Little bird, flying so high in the air, not yet knowing how far down she can fall," The Titan drawls, he pinches my chin and moves my head from side to side, taking in every single one of my features as if not to let one single trait escape his scrutiny. My body trembled and fear had me by the throat, and I can hardly think I am so afraid. I'm so vulnerable in this state, with no armor on my body or no sword in my hand. I can't even move for gods' sakes. "or how much higher she can climb." He finishes, releasing hold of me. If I had control of my movements I would have sagged in relief.

"Oh, I can see what the boy sees in you." He took a step back, scanned me once again. "I wonder if he'll still see you the same way if we mess up that pretty little face of yours,"

-

I jolted awake in less than forty minutes later, my skin was plastered with sweat and shivers running down my spine. I looked around, Loki's arms were still wrapped around me, once I realized where I was my breathing slowed to its normal rate, but my heart was still pounding in my ears. The man from my other dream, I suddenly remembered, my eyes widening with the memory. The one when I danced with Loki and bruises and scars began to appear on his skin, I shivered at the mere memory of it.

"Is everything alright?" I heard Loki's slurred tone from behind me, I jolted, not knowing he was awake. "Yes- just had a weird dream. Are you alright?" I asked softly, turning toward him slightly and relaxing against his chest. He forced a smile, but it was tired and made me ache for him, my worries about the dream quickly cast far from my mind. To answer my question he hung his head and buried his face in my shoulder, pulling his arms more tightly around me.

"I will be,"