Sesshomaru x Kagome

Chapter 38: Cold

She felt cold. It was like she had turned into ice and snow; the warmth of bone, blood, and flesh was gone from her. He had done this to her, she had let him do this to her. It was back when she had been so strong and was willing to fight for others no matter the cost herself.

She had been such a warm person back then.

Now she was just like him. Cold and unfeeling towards others but was he filled with pain and unbearable sad like her? Had someone made him so like he had made her? Why couldn't she live and be the warm person that she had once been?

Why couldn't she stay with her children and raise them as she truly desired? But she knew the answer why and it hurt.

It hurt to know that she was too hallowed out by others and filled with poison. She knew that it was just a matter of time before the poison spilled out of her. It was a threat that she would not allow to touch her children. She was a threat that could not be around her children.

But Sesshomaru could be.

Cold and unfeeling towards those that deserved mercy, but he was an emotional and loving father to their children. He showed sides of himself that he would only ever show when their children were around. It was those sides of him that made her feel something that she didn't want to feel.

It was something that she could not accept and so this was why she was walking down this hall to end it all. Mizuki still followed her, crying loud, and hard as she followed her but Kagome still continued to walk down the hall.

But it hurt to hear her child crying for her and it made Kagome long to hold her sweet little girl yet she knew that she couldn't. She was a threat to her child and herself. But she welcomed being a threat to herself because despite the desire to see her children grown up, she could not stand living in this world anymore.

Not when she was this cold and numb to everything around her. She was too weak from the cold and Sesshomaru to be the strong, warm person that she had been by Inuyasha's side. But Inuyasha had been able to save her back then.

She was on her own now with no one to save her.

Did that make her weak before as well? Was she so weak that she needed to be saved by others instead of standing on her own two feet alone? But back then she had always believed in the strength of fighting with friends on your side. She had been such a child back then all those years ago. She was too weak to stand on her own without her friends and family at her side.

It was just like her name meant. She was the bird trapped in a cage, unable to escape no matter how hard she tried to do so. In a cage like the one she was in, the only way to escape by one's own was to die.

She would do just that.

oOo

There she was, walking toward him. Her flesh was bare for the world to see and she was perfection to him but he could see it. It was so plain there in her eyes that he could not look away like he wanted to do. The pain called to him and screeched of the cold burning through him. This was what was there in her blue eyes.

He wanted to reach her and take her into his arms, to soothe what he saw within her. But he knew what Kagome would do; how she would react...she had done it countless times already. She would reject him as she always did; it would hurt just like it always did but he needed to stop her from hurting herself.

Her powers burned him, continued to burn him as they had but still he ignored his pain in hopes of reaching her side. Each step was like agony clawed him of his skin, and in fact his skin was being burned away as fast as his body could regenerate it. How was she so powerful that she could do this to him? If she truly desired it, she could kill him without another thought. But she didn't, and it gave him the hope that she would not reject him this time.