I Bet I Can Make You Speak (Boyxboy)

Chapter Seventy-Eight (End)

(Riley's P.O.V.)

Seeing Luca again was like something out of a dream. He was still in the hospital with an IV in his arm and monitors crowding the left corner, but he was smiling. I felt a lump start to form in my throat as I saw him remove the covers from in front of his mouth. I had to keep telling myself this doesn't mean it's over, but it's a sign that he's letting himself begin to get to that point.

When his blue eyes locked with my brown ones, I practically threw myself across the room to get to his bed. Evan, who was by his side, pushed his chair back a bit for an easy path. He understood that this embrace of ours was important. We just saw each other the night before, but right now he's truly alive and I couldn't hold back my tears. His eyes weren't as bright as they should be, but the life was there and that's all that matters at this moment. Seeing the hollow shell that he was yesterday will haunt my mind forever, but I'll have this moment to replace it every time.

I let Luca go to get a good look at him. His bandages had been freshly changed. Instead of looking like a corpse, his smooth skin has color to it again. The freckles are visible once more. All the little details that make him who he is, the person I love, are coming back. It's been such a short time but very productive considering what I'm seeing. "How are you feeling?"

He rested his fingers on the palm of my hand. I gave them a comforting squeeze as I noticed them shaking.

"B-Better... a lot b-b-better. I know I-It seems craz-zy-"

"There's nothing crazy about it," Evan interrupted. He positioned himself in the small chair more comfortably and looked Luca in the eyes. "You were at your lowest point and that's not your fault. You have a mental illness, Luca. If not careful you will begin to spiral and your mind will get out of control. All the progress you've made will seem nonexistent but that's not because it's true. Your mind is sick. There's no simpler way to put it. Suicidal thoughts and even actions can be the result of a manic episode. Now the doctors and you are going to have to go through trial and error to help prevent them. It's not crazy that you feel okay today. It also doesn't mean you'll feel the same tomorrow. What I want you to take from this is it doesn't last. The awful feelings don't last and you're strong enough to fight them until your happy days become normal."

Luca gave Evan a determined nod and squeezed my fingers. The corner of his eyes held unshed tears which I wiped away with my other hand's thumb.

"H-He's right!" My voice cracked and I finally noticed my own cheeks felt wet. "And we'll all be here with you! Heck, even my stupid brother will help by taking me anywhere I need to go. Isn't that right, Michael?"

Michael steps out of the corner awkwardly. Luca seems to have just noticed him standing there. He scoots away from me a bit and looks away embarrassed.

"I'm not here to make you uncomfortable. You can be as close to Riley as you want." I put my hand out for Luca to take and he hesitantly wraps his own around it. "I want to apologize-"

Luca puts his other hand up to stop him. "Um, i-if you don't m-m-mind, can you n-not say y-you're sorry? I rath-ther... rather p-pretend like w-w-we just m-met."

Both Evan and Michael look a little surprised. I didn't expect him to go that route either. If I think about what I've seen happen in the last year I've known him, it does make a lot more sense. He's been apologized to by many people. For the most part, it's been everyone he's close to including me. Michael and Luca really don't know each other. Starting over fresh is probably the right thing to do and Luca knows that. There's not enough baggage to block the reset button and for the first time that I know of, he's going to push it himself. I can't really describe how proud I am.

"Ah! Riley, what's wrong!?" Michael shrieked while Luca tried to push himself up to get closer to me.

With my hand over my mouth trying my absolute best to keep the sobs I can feel trying to break out of my chest and the tears flooding my eyes, I say one overwhelming thing I had when I first saw my boyfriend.

"It's just... I'm-" I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes with my sleeves so I'm able to look at the beautiful boy who radiates like the sun. "You're alive and I'm so happy I can say that."

Once again, Luca's eyes were the same bright blue they were when he wore the Pikachu costume the night of the school dance before everything went to hell. They sparkled like the day we rode the horses and he wasn't afraid to let his hair fly back in the wind as it ran on the trail. The tears in his eyes weren't ones of sadness, but like the afternoon on his bed when I was finally able to kiss him for the first time. The determination that was shown through the usual darkness when he kept me safe during the school fight lit up. It wasn't towards me. He didn't need to protect me. No, he was determined to keep fighting for himself. I couldn't ask for anything more.

He stayed in my arms until Evan joined in. He covered us both with his long arms until he used one to drag Michael in too. Was he slightly uncomfortable? Of course. But it caused us all to laugh and make stupid comments towards him.

Yesterday marks the day Luca had died. It was a day that broke a lot of people. Storm will probably have that haunted look in his eyes for a long time. Evan and Brandon are definitely going to be more of parents instead of a family friend to both Luca and Storm. Tyler won't make confident jokes for a while and his arms trapping Luca in a hug will be a common thing to see. My brother won't know what type of relationship we have until silent ground rules are established. And me... I'll need to work on a lot of things. Luca will need his space while recovering. I can't let my own fears set him back. It wouldn't be healthy to be by his side 24/7. That's not even possible. I'm not any older or wiser than him. I put so much on myself at the beginning of our friendship that turned into a relationship. I want to be there for him whenever I can, but I can't be the one to save him. I know he'll save himself and that's the only way he'll survive. He just needs our help and support along the way.

Today Luca is alive and ready to start a new chapter of his life. Nothing will ever be the same and that's okay. Resetting mean's starting over. This time we'll all do it the right way.

"What are you gonna name your polar bear?" Evan asks after I had given it to him. He set it beside him on the bed and gave it a fond smile.

"C-Canvas. C-Cause it's wh-white like a b-blank canv-vas."

His cheeks were dusted a light pink and he bit his lip gently as his eyes met mine. I gave him a proud look. We both knew it meant more than that. It was a perfect representation of himself.

It's time for him to paint the perfect image of his life with a fresh canvas, new brushes, and colorful paint.

Not a dull color on the tray. And if there is?

The sunshine will always brighten it up. 

* <3 Thank you to those who have waited. I appreciate all the messages that have asked if I'm okay while I was away. This is the ending to the book. There will be a much shorter book on the recovery and future. All other books in this series are being rewritten. I love you all <3*