Never giving up on you - Completed.

35.

Austin

I had always been a firm believer in karma, the fact that everything happens for a reason and that you would get what was meant for you. Only when my mother died and I had cursed the God she had always taught me about so lovingly, I dropped that belief until that one conversation I had with my father on the roof of the band's touringbus at Warped. For nine whole years I had been lost without guidance, and the only thing that kept me going was the search for even the tiniest bit of solace in my life. During that time I had never thought that I would come back to the only person I had so harshly blamed for everything that had gone wrong in my life; God.

Ever since that one question of my father about where God was in my life I had been thinking about the answer, and it was clear to me; God, or anything even near to belief, was nowhere to be found. I knew that in order to get back to myself I also had to get back to my roots, and that meant finding out if believing in any way could still have a place in my life.

That was almost two years ago, and I had found myself in a much happier and better place since I had decided to let believing in my own way be a part of my life again. That solace I was searching for came back, and not only in a spiritual form; Caity was also a huge cause of the inner peace I had felt in the past year, and meeting her for the second time also made me believe in the whole 'everything happens for a reason' and 'you get what is meant for you' thing again.

During the recording process in the last months I had written two songs about finding my way back to faith and what it did to me. The guys knew these songs meant a lot to me, and Caity knew what they were about. She didn't completely understand my feelings and thoughts about them, since she had never been raised religiously and had never known about what believing was about. But still she tried to support me in her own way in finding my way back to God and I was more than thankful for it. If she could accept and support me in this, than I could accept and support her too.

Her open and loving heart accepting me for who I was and what I did, with every flaw I had, was something that still amazed me every day. I had put her through hell and back again and still she choose me to spent her life with. Caity was the best thing that had happened to me and she made me whole again. In her I saw the embodiment of everything worth fighting for, everything I would always believe in and stand for. I had finally found my way back to God and had accepted my belief with open arms, and now it was time for God to do the same with me.

Caity had a day off, and we had brought Hailey to school together before we had went back home. We had a quiet breakfast together, just enjoying each other's presence without any disturbance. She was on her laptop, trying to learn some new nursing skills, and I was scrolling through my phone and answering emails, checking social media and texting Alan.

'Aust, you're gonna be late,' Caity muttered. I looked up from my phone to her and then to the clock on the wall.

'Shit.' I propped the last piece of bread in my mouth and got up, kissing Caity on her head as I passed her.

'Is that all?',' she asked a little bewildered while she looked at me as I was gathering my things.

'What? What is all?'

'That kiss is all I get?' She put her hand in her side and cocked an eyebrow at me. I chuckled an rolled my eyes, getting back up to her and pulling her in to kiss her tenderly on her lips.

'Better?'

'Much,' she smiled. 'Let's have lunch together?' I stared into her vivid blue eyes and put some hair behind her ear.

'Sure,' I said, kissing her again and then letting go of her. 'I'll see you at one.' Caity nodded and I waved at her, picking up my backpack and leaving the house to pick up Alan. I was running a little late and surprisingly, Alan was already sitting on the stone wall in front of his apartment building, impatiently waiting.