Never giving up on you - Completed.

32.

Caity

I hardly slept anymore after Austin's fit, I found myself constantly checking if he was okay. Every whimper, every spasm, every movement made me look at him. He had fallen back asleep after his nightmare, but his body hadn't found complete relaxation.

When his alarm went off we were both exhausted, but a new day was awaiting; Austin had to go to the studio and I wanted to get some things done in the house before heading to Bring Me's show.

'Hey Aust, about last night...,' I started at breakfast. He looked up from pouring Hailey Lucky Charms.

'What about it?,' he asked wearily, his eyes sunken deeply into his tired face.

'Are you okay?'

'What does it look like?,' he asked a little annoyed.

'That you're not,' I stated carefully.

'Then why are you asking?' He rolled his eyes and put Hailey's bowl down in front of her, getting up himself and walking off. I stared after him, sighing. He had been in a bad mood all morning and I was getting sick of it.

'Mom, where is dad going?,' Hailey asked a little disappointed.

'I don't know. Just let him be.' I tried to smile at my daughter and ordered her to eat her Lucky Charms. She happily munched on them and I put the tv on to distract her while I got up and walked to Austin, who was in the bathroom.

'What's going on?,' I demanded, closing the door behind me.

'What's going on?,' he huffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm before he swallowed two painkillers and a muscle relaxer. 'I feel like fucking shit, that's what's wrong.' He pulled off his shirt and threw it in the laundry basket while I stared at his tattooed chest and the pink scar in the middle of it.

'Well, no need to take it out on me and Hailey,' I muttered, looking away when he threw me a frustrated look.

'I'm not taking it out on you and Hailey!'

'Yes, you are! You've been acting blunt to the both of us all morning. I can't help you are tired because you had a nightmare and have been hurting all night –'

'Then don't fucking pretend like you can help me!,' he suddenly yelled. I fell silent and closed my still open mouth, staring at him with wide eyes.

'Okay... wow,' I said in disbelief of his reaction. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't know what to say to him so I just shook my head and turned around to walk away.

'You don't know what it's like,' Austin said, his voice hoarse with both anger and sadness. I turned to look at him; he was holding himself up by leaning on the sink while his entire body was trembling. The sight of him standing there, barely able to keep himself together, saddened me, but his words made me furious.

'No, I don't know what it's like,' I said, walking back up to him. 'And I'm glad I don't, because seeing you like this is already hard enough. But I am just trying to help you get through the bad times.'

'You can't,' he just said. I sighed deeply and rolled my eyes at his stubborn attitude. 'You can't help me. This is my battle to fight, not yours.'

'But at least let me be there for you!'

'When?!'

'When you need me!'

'I don't need –' He stopped abruptly and shut his mouth, sighing deeply and rubbing his face. I felt my lower lip began to tremble a bit; I knew what he wanted to say. He didn't need me. My eyes were tearing up and I bit my lip hard, looking away from him to keep my tears in so desperately.