When daddy left

Dear self voice 1

Y'vania's POV

Dear self voice,

I think some people are trying to make sure that I'm going to be crazy before twenty but no.

Am not going to allow it. I'm going to calm down and figure everything out like a nineteen year old college student.

Reasons for the above remark:

1. The orange haired doctor's attempt.
I was more than shocked when the lady said about the capitol whatever enzyme that destroyed my angel.

1st reaction: I'm sure gonna kill all the Miller descendants.

Conclusion: Maybe I'll hold on and stay calm as I plan their downfall.

2.Raquel's attempt.
As soon as Daniel and I settled in his car my phone started ringing for dear life and mummy almost busted my ears off asking if the shopping was taking ages. We had lied to her that we are going to get a few things from the mall.

1st reaction: What the heck mummy! I know the flight is in three hours stop nagging or I'll change my plans.

Conclusion: Just hurry up already she's right because you haven't packed.

3. Land of fame's tabs attempt.
The plan was making a quick stop at the mall grab a bag of fries and go back home just in case mummy asks what we bought. But no that's not what happened because in this land of fame excess, tabloids can't seem to let you free. As soon as Daniel and I got out of the car they were everywhere and they pounced on me without mercy. That one got me going bonkers but what made me go a gazillion bonkers was what some redhead asked.
" Is it true that your messy past involves your past relationship with Miller Jr?"
Wow I almost hit the lady you know.

1st reaction: You can guess. My fist was already clenched when Daniel got hold of it and led the way as if he wasn't aware of their presence.

Conclusion: Don't answer any unreasonable question. It may turn out reasonable.

4. Flight attendant's attempt.
Due to all this chain of events we almost missed the flight and you can imagine Raquel's furious talks as we got on board but not before going through the cranky flight attendant who almost got us correction me arrested. One of the officers who recognised me let us go but not before almost drop kicking the cranky guy.

1st reaction: You're sure gonna regret crossing path with Y'vania.

Conclusion: I'll sock him in the face when I come back.

By the time we were settled and ready to take off mummy was still muttering under her breath and casting me furtive glances.

Okay here I am searching on ways to prevent craziness on internet because that's where we get solutions for everything.

"Are you seriously searching that on internet?" Mummy asks snapping me out of my browsing session.
"Mummy I thought you were sleeping."

She let's out a chuckle and starts reading some classified magazine after muttering ' weird ' which I hear but brush off.

I can't find any relevant thing that matches my situation or maybe my situation is beyond internet knowledge.

I know I should be screaming right now or even have a tough migraine after such a long day and finding out that losing Avania wasn't actually my fault but the most surprising thing is that I'm here seated next to my mother who knows nothing about my day and am not planning to tell her.

Am thinking about everything that has happened to me ever since I was young.

Each and everyday I lived hoping for the best,expecting the worst and accepting the outcome of anything I do.

The only thing I need to find out is why they had to involve an innocent soul in this family dramas.

If Miller thought that I was going to blackmail them by using the baby then he was wrong he judged too fast. I wasn't going to let any of them know about my baby not even my mummy and my sisters.

What I had planned was travel to Los Angeles to join the college without anyone knowing my identity. I was going to ensure that my baby joined the world safe and sound and give it up for adoption.

I knew it was going to be painful parting with my angel but it was better than letting everyone know. I feared this same thing that the Millers or Nana are going to try and hurt it in the best ways they could. I figured that the adoption thing would work and I was already in the process of finding someone who would be ready to take that responsibility.

I was so shocked to find out that Javier had leaked out my picture to the media but I took it easy and formulated another plan to tell the media when the pregnancy thing gets noticed.

Looks like I wasn't lucky because people found out earlier about the baby. Sometimes I wish I would've taken the test on that very day I started noticing the changes in me. I still blame myself for procrastinating until the very day when I fell ill and got into a coma.

Self voice tell me what could you have done?
How could they get rid of my baby in such a way?
Did they do it on purpose. To punish me? But what did I do?
Or maybe they thought I didn't fit into their family.

Or maybe..wait maybe I should ask mummy. I turn only to find her staring at me with a questionable look.

Did I do anything weird? Was I thinking out loud?

Uh oh am screwed big time.

"You seem disturbed and lost in thoughts. What's wrong honey?"

I shake my head and look at the dark clouds outside.

"You don't want to go home?" She asks in the most painful tone.

"Mummy am so happy I miss everyone back home." I speak up facing her. She hugs me tightly for a few minutes and I can't resist the smile and the warmth that I missed.

"If its about Anthony I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I know I said a lot of hurting words but I was just angry because ever since this relationship happened so many drama skits followed but..but I know you're a strong girl and a grown up you know what's right and what's wrong if you still love him then.." her voice breaks and she let's out a long sigh. I sit upright and wipe the tears on her face.

"I'm sorry Y'vania."
"Mummy you've done nothing wrong but to take care of me. Its all my fault I've been shutting myself out lately but I know we'll have a lot of catching up to do in three weeks. I'll tell you everything that's bothering me I promise I won't hide anything because no one else can take your place and play the role of being my mummy as you do."

"You're speaking that writing language of yours right?" She asks with a smile.

I furrow my eyebrows not understanding what she means.

"What writing language mummy?"
"That YFS thing."

"Oh I shouldn't speak inspiration too much it sounded like a poem."

Both of us laugh at my remark.

Making up my mind I finally ask her,

"Mummy how many doctors treated me when I was unconscious?" She goes quiet probably thinking about my question.

"They were three. Doctor Miller himself, a certain Connor who I learnt later was his son too and a lady I can't remember the name. Why?"

She didn't mention Anthony did she?

"What about Anthony?" I found myself asking.

"Anthony..yes he was there but not that much just to check up on you he didn't take part in the treatment thing."

"Why? He's I mean he was my doctor."
Mummy shrugs it off like its no big deal.
"He was in some sort of a panic attack that's why the other son had to step in." I nod going quiet trying to connect the broken pieces of the whole story but everything that comes up is so messed up.

I think dumb Y'vania is the one in charge right now and I don't know where she dumped genius Y'vania.