A Guardian's Fate (Book #2)

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Henry sat atop the castle wall, near the southern-eastern keep. He watched the setting sun in the distance, illuminating hills with a glorious hue of orange for the last time that evening. The sight reminded him of one of his favorite spots in Caelum. He liked to sneak onto the bell tower in the center of the city and stare out into the miles of rolling hills and vineyards. Whether sunset or sunrise, he always felt at peace watching the light.

Henry wasn't sure if he missed Caelum. He missed certain things, like that bell tower and those hills. He missed the dock and missed watching ships come and go. He missed the long walks around the countryside and picking grapes on his way back to the palace. Most of all, he missed the person Victor used to be.

Many assumed Victor had always been like this—cruel, unloving, and distant. However, Henry remembered a time when he'd been the opposite. When he'd offered his hand to Henry as they took walks through the countryside because they'd walked too far, and Henry feared the dark. That side of Victor started to fade after their father's murder.

Henry didn't quite understand his emotions and feelings about his father's death until he grew older. And once he did, they all came crashing down on him. His only escape was through an entire bottle of wine or whatever alcohol Jasmine found for them to enjoy together. It numbed him enough to wake up the next morning feeling sick, yet also relieved. Because he couldn't recall why he'd felt upset the night before as he nursed himself back to health. He'd depended on it so much over the years. And he didn't stop until last halcyon, when he received a letter from King Philip.

He agreed mostly because of Victor. But Henry also took it as a sign to get himself together. He hadn't seen Elouise in so long, and he hated to imagine her seeing him that way—ruined and disgusting. Since then, he'd only had wine during meals, and he did his best not to finish it all or ask for seconds.

Right now, he really wanted a drink, though. He especially needed it if he was starting to miss Victor... or the version of him that no longer existed.

Everyone was either retiring to their bedchambers or out of the castle. Elouise and Eldon were out somewhere, too. Henry didn't have to worry about running into them anytime soon.

There would be no harm in sneaking into the pantry and fetching himself one glass, right? Only one. He would be fine after that.

Henry moved closer to the keep and used the ladder to climb down from there. When he made it back into the castle, he swallowed hard and listened to the echoes of footsteps from afar. The castle was never entirely quiet, and he used what little sounds there still were to open the old pantry door. It creaked, so he hurried inside and closed it behind him. Then he waited to ensure nobody had heard and came to investigate. After counting to ten in his head, he stepped back and turned around.

He suddenly remembered the last time he was in here. The night of the gold. His heart had been racing while Haven had appeared completely unfazed. That memory felt much further away than it was. He could make himself believe it'd happened a year ago rather than a few months.

Henry felt along the wall, careful not to knock over anything off the shelves. With the last bit of light creeping in beneath the outdoor entrance, he managed to navigate his way across the room. He saw the glimmer of crystal bottles in front of him and he reached for the darkest one despite his quickening pulse.

Then the other door swung open. He held his breath, stuck where he stood as fear crawled up his skin like millions of ants.

"I was hoping you'd be in here trying to sneak sweets," said Ivy. "That is... not so sweet."

Henry exhaled slowly and faced her. "I'm parched."

"It's a relief we have plenty of clean water, then." She raised her eyebrows. "If you'd prefer, though, I can squeeze some oranges for you."

"Ivy..."

"What are you doing, Henry? You know better than this." She lowered her shoulders and looked away. "Don't let me stop you. It's up to you what you do. I only want you to know how well you've been doing." With that, Ivy walked out of the pantry.

Henry opened his mouth to call after her. Then he shook his head. Goddesses, she was good at that. He stepped back from the shelf and stared at the bottle until he finally convinced himself to walk away.

Ivy waited for him in the corridor. She crossed her arms and wore a blank expression. He wanted to say something before she did, explain that it hadn't been as she thought. He'd only wanted one glass.

"Is there anything wrong?" she asked first, her eyes softening. "You've been quiet lately. During the ceremony earlier, you barely smiled. I know it can't be because you're not happy for Eldon. So, it must be something else."

Henry was more than happy for Eldon. He was officially apart of the royal guard and Elouise's appointed knight. They could work closely together now without raising heads and complete their roles as the savior and guardian.

However, where did that leave him?

He'd originally came here to escape his life in Caelum. To get away from Victor's antics and attitude. Truly, though, what was he doing here?

If he looked at more thoroughly, he was simply here. Living freely without any problems while his friends took on what seemed impossible to defeat. He'd witnessed horrors and magic in the past few months, yet it had nothing to do with him. Nothing for him to worry about aside from his friends' safety, which didn't require much from him. He couldn't contribute to the cause. He could only keep their secret safe. How useless was he?

"I suppose I am feeling tired these days," Henry said. "I only wanted a drink to help me sleep."

Ivy lowered her gaze. "I can tell you a story to help you sleep. Remember you used to tell me bedtime stories? I'd fall asleep before you reached the end." She giggled. "I always appreciated you letting me know what happened in the morning."

Henry chuckled. "I do remember that. And I appreciate you offering. I merely don't think a story is going to help me, though."

"I don't either." She inched closer to him and frowned. "You're going to be alright." It almost sounded to him like she was asking.

So, he nodded. "I am." Despite not being so certain anymore. Then he mustered another smile. "Go on to bed, Ivy. Clawdia must be wondering where you are."

Although Ivy didn't smile or laugh in return, she agreed and wished him a good night. He waited until she disappeared before closing the pantry door. Part of him wanted to go back inside instead, but he held his ground and released the doorknob.

One drink wouldn't have been one drink. Not with the way he was feeling.

Henry didn't know what to do anymore.

Did he miss any of those little things he'd reminisced about? Or was he only searching for some sort of purpose by missing something that he wanted to believe needed him? As if a bell tower or a countryside could notice his absence and miss it. Not even Victor—the only living soul in his list of nostalgic musings—could never miss him.

He didn't belong here in Aristol. He didn't deserve to take advantage of everyone's kindness and welcoming arms here when he did nothing for them in return.

He didn't belong in his own kingdom. Nobody paid attention to him there, and he'd tried to get them to. Yet nobody wanted to acknowledge the drunk and lonely prince on the streets at night.

So, where did Henry belong?

He hopelessly glanced around his empty surroundings.

Where did he go next?