Beyond The Stars (Naruto Fanfiction)

Chapter 26~ Emotions

Questions filled my confused head, seeing my parents shocked me. "Tanta lower your guard honey, such cold eyes at your age."

My mother was quiet, her voice was filled with sorrow. My father smiled brightly at me, I was never shocked by his welcoming smile. He treated everyone with such kindness and as if they were his family, I wish I could have said the same thing about the late Astara village.

"Sorry I was such a disappointment to you." My mother walked closer to me her eyes softening at me. "You could never disappoint us, honey."

"We do have a request for you." I shot my father a questioning look, what could the dead want from me. "Our guardians, they still live."

"Akari, and Kyler they are still around. We wish you to take them in, if I recall your guardian is Karliah?" Mother asked in a soft tone, her voice always was quiet and soft especially towards me. The head family guardians were usually wolves, showing our pride and beauty. "Yes."

I saw them start to become surrounded in a blinding light, so bright I had to close my eyes. "Seems the jutsu is wearing off my dear, no you haven't fully unlocked the fourth stage yet,"

I lunged towards them and lunged them in a bone-crushing hug. Every second that passed, more tears dripped and the less I felt of them being here. "Please don't leave me alone again, I hated the feeling of being without you!"

My ears seemed to be playing tricks on me, did I just let emotion take control of my words. I had just admitted that I hated the feeling of being alone, yet I distance myself from everyone in hopes to lower the chances of being hurt. 

Emotions confused the hell out of me, I hated being alone but being with others only seemed to cause heartache. What is the leaf village doing to me.

My constant running mind, left me alone in the dark. There was nothing around me and nothing to do except my mind run more. Anger used to be my favorite emotion because it made me stronger, however, I think I was fooling myself.

The feeling of being alone in the darkness was intolerable, I felt something I haven't felt since before my days with Orochimaru. I felt vulnerable like the slightest movement could make me jump.

I hated every second I was trapped inside my skin, my body was the cage that I was trapped inside of. Everything I did was limited, and constricted even emotions have their capacity. Like how humans have a breaking point, I think I reached mine.

~~~

I had woken up, Haruno was the only one around. She kept looking at me, pity evident in her eyes. I haven't spoken to her at all, I woke up from the horrid darkness and spent most of the time staring out into the endless forest, using my tear-stained eyes to scan the area.

I used chakra to scan the area, a small group is near us. They have been watching us for quite a while but haven't made any efforts to attack, so I dismissed them as a threat... for now. I snapped my head in the direction of a small noise.

I also took note that Haruno had a kunai on guard, it was a small chipmunk. Haruno proceeded to throw the kunai, making the small thing jump back. "Hey, it's okay."

I saw the chipmunk waver for a moment, debating if I was really speaking to him. "Sorry, somebody placed a weird paper thing on my back, then he sent me over here. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble."

"Are you okay, Astara-San?" I nodded towards the concerned pinkette, then focused on the chipmunk. "Would you consider doing me a favor?"

"If it means getting back at those horrid guys then sure as hell I am!" I almost let me emotionless face smile at the enthusiasm showed from the small animal.

"Good, c'mere." I said quietly, admitting a small genjutsu around us, prohibiting the small team from seeing our confrontation with the chipmunk. He ran around the pit trap Haruno set up and came to me. I picked up his tiny frame and peeled the paper bomb off from his back.

I skillfully attached the paper bomb to a shuriken and chucked in through the barrier, making sure to also lace the shuriken in a genjutsu. "Thanks a lot, miss, I sure was scared for a hot minute."

"My name is Kritanta Astara, your help is greatly appreciated. Finish off and just run back to where ever you live." My eyes softened enough for emotion to be shown, but to the naked eye, I looked like a normal girl... Who happens to have blood tainted clothes, and is coated is filth.

"See ya around, Miss Kritanta Astara. The names Kimo." With nothing else to be said, Kimo raced off into the vast forest. Finding enough courage in my voice I faced Haruno, who had been skeptical watching me the entire time.

"Hey Haruno, I'm sorry for being so distant. I'm just feeling a lot right now." I stayed more on the quiet side of my voice, I haven't conversed my feelings since I was scolded for it. My words were slower and more thought out than my average voice. Something about this was making me uneasy, I was uncomfortable.

I saw her eyes widen slightly, I highly doubt she expected anything like this. I don't even recognize myself doing this right now. "No, no, it's fine, in all honesty, you handled it better than I did. I was useless, at least you tried to stop that thing."

"I appreciate that greatly, but I really don't want to hear your absolutes. You haven't faced the cruel world we live in. For a long time, I had certainty in my head, killing and becoming stronger was the only way to survive in a world of shinobi. I still think that way something, but in all honesty, every person that has fallen by my hand I can't forget. I don't allow myself to forget. I write down all of their names." I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a brown-colored notebook. Inside was named, upon names. At Least fifty to sixty name per page, there was around two dozen pages filled to the brim. I saw horror strike her face, could I really blame her for being afraid of the monster I am?

But what happened next shocked me to the bone.