Triple Dog Dare ||z.m

Graduation

Today was the day. Today we would walk down in our maroon gowns and caps and say goodbye to this crummy school forever. I get to say my stupid valedictorian speech about hope and friendship and love then i leave and never walk down those halls again. I'll never see Harry, Louis, Niall, Liam or Zayn ever again and I'm glad. I think. "Ready sweetheart?" my mom asks timidly as i finish pulling the straightener down my hair.

"Yeah just about." i reply with a smile. Not a real one but i think she buys it because she smiles back and walks back into the living room. I sigh and stare at myself in the mirror. My mom insisted i wear makeup today even if it wasn't a lot. Simple mascara and eye shadow, lip gloss and a light foundation and i was all set. She wanted to curl my hair as well but i said it looked better when it was straight. My mom just nodded and smiled and left me in the bathroom alone with the door open. I look down at the robe and how mine just barely grazes the floor. I should have gotten a smaller size. I tell myself. I'll probably trip all over it or fall when I'm heading towards the stage. I pull it up a little and glance at the one inch high heels my mom made me wear. They're white and match the dress I'm wearing under this. White for purity. White for virginity, i can't believe i wanted to give away to Zayn. "I'm ready!" i called out to my mom as i walked out of the bathroom shutting off the light. I walked slowly out into the living room heard my heels click on the floor as i went. When i emerged my mom looked like she was about to cry.

"Oh sweetheart! You look wonderful!" she cried out throwing her arms around me in a hug.

"Mom don't cry." i say slowly rubbing her back gently, wrapping my arms around her.

"Oh these! These are happy tears. My little baby is all grown up." i smiled slightly as she pulled back and covered her mouth with her hands. "Let's take a picture, yes?" she pulls out her camera and snaps a few closeups of me even though I'm not ready.

"Mom." i complain.

"Oh come on just a few. Smile." she says. So i smile til my cheeks burn, until my mom decides she's had enough and drives us over to my school. We're having it in the football stadium even though it will be hotter than hell outside. I just hope we get it over with quickly. My mom leaves me with my multicolored cords and graduation cap in the hallways of the school with the other kids who are milling around and talking. "You have your speech right?" she asks fixing the hat on my head and pulling my hair forward so it falls in front of my shoulders.

"Yeah mom it's here." i say pulling out a couple index cards.

"Good." she kisses my forehead. "Don't be nervous. You'll do fine." i smile and nod before she rushes off to find a good seat. As soon as she leaves i drop the act.

For almost three weeks now I've been avoiding five boys for five different reasons and smiling my way through class and dinner with my mom, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. The reason behind this being my teachers and mom and all started to believe i was depressed. Rumors were flying around that i had attempted to kill myself and that's why my hand was bandaged. I actually didn't know what i was trying to do that day with the knife. I just suddenly had it in my hand and then i didn't. I really didn't want to go to rehab or something for the depression so i decided to fake it. Slowly i pretended like everything was going back to normal. I would start paying attention in class then i moved on to asking question and then to having full on discussion with my teachers again. I stopped being closed off and reserved around my mom and instead told her nearly every detail of my day at school over dinner and asked about hers. After three weeks of keeping this up i was exhausted from the effort. I should have become an actor or something. I was really good at this whole facade thing.

"Hey." i had been aimlessly wandering down the halls and had accidentally ventured into one of the less occupied wings. I recognized the voice but i was okay with talking to him for now.