The Queen's Shadow

The New Beginning

December 29, 1944

'Why Queen Lilith?' Edward was understandably confused at the thought he might have Gabriel again. "He isn't safe here." Communicating with Edward via telepathy was my only option, especially since it was important. 'What happened?' The thought of my son being fed on angered me again. I then said, "a vampire fed on him to the point of almost killing him." Edward's rage was apparent, all that work to get him here only for him to die. "She was dealt with." He paused for a moment, "No I didn't kill her." There was almost a sigh of relief almost as if it could be heard through telepathy. 'My Queen we can't afford a coup d'état not now.' I knew this but she could regrow an eye I couldn't get my son back if he died. "I know." I paused thinking about all of the hardships he went through and what he could go through. "That's why I need him with you."

'Are you sure?' I had to pause again, I never considered pushing him away again. "If Gabriel wasn't safe with me where would he be safe going?" I said to Edward, I was always open with him because he is one of my most trusted. 'Lilith?' I heard his voice, Gabriel woke up I really hope I didn't wake him even though I wasn't speaking. "Edward I'm going to have to talk to you later," I said via telepathy. 'Yes, my queen.'

I was sitting in the chair watching him for hours. The guest had been long gone and all I had in me was a sense of dread since he had been asleep. "Are you okay?" He looked around examining the room, he had never left my personal room. 'Fine.' His voice sounded pained but callous, he rubbed the part of his neck that was bitten and realized the wound was gone. He would still be stiff there but the wound was gone. 'How long have I been asleep?' You have been asleep for a while it was already midday. "12 hours give or take." He sighed and said 'what are you going to do with me?' He felt like a prisoner here, he had a right to think like that.

A long silence passed us and it was time to break it. "I'm letting you go," I said it calmly, it was no point in building up suspense anymore. His eyes widened but not in happiness it was out of caution. He was still afraid of me, the fact that I wasn't there to protect him made it even worse. He probably felt like livestock, he was fed on like livestock too. 'Why? So you can secretly watch me? Or is it to torment me again ?' With all of that pain in him, he had nothing to lose and he had nothing to gain. Did I ruin my son's life? He had been hurt by me in so many ways and I had thrust so much on him.

It didn't have to be like this, had I not accepted Michael's answer I could have at least had my husband and my son. Why didn't I just accept the answer like the others? I am going to wipe your memories of me." The air shifted I had never thought I would say that, but this had to be done. "This world isn't meant for you and I don't want you to think that you have to live in it." This was a lot for him but I wanted him to know what I was going to do. 'Why would you even tell me?' It was simple I didn't want him to feel like I was playing with his life again.

I had not bothered changing out of my party clothes, it would only take an instant for me to do it. The only real change was the fact that my hair was no longer in a crown bun. The only thing I did in those 12 hours was watch my son sleep. I listened to his thoughts, he had doubts, questions, and anger. I realized he was not meant for my world, he was not safe in my world he was not safe at all. Even as a queen of vampires, I couldn't protect one human, even though that human was my son. What I say sad excuse of a mother I am.

'I can't fight you on this because I agree with you.' Hearing him say it only made me feel even more heavy-hearted. I knew it was the truth but some part of me didn't want to hear the truth. He is a good man he deserves to live a good life he deserves to die peacefully. He deserves to grow old and die, he deserves to be surrounded by other humans. I felt a burning sadness in my chest before I spoke again.

"Before I do this if it isn't too much to ask I want to hug you." He looked surprised, I wanted him to say yes I wanted him to see me as his mother just for a moment. He never saw me as a mother trying to protect him. All he saw me as was a person who is constantly interfering in his life, good or bad he wanted to be the master of his own fate. He then spoke again, 'Did you rip that vampire's eye out?' I didn't think he would remember that. Without hesitation, I answered. "Yes." His posture was almost always tense, he never allowed himself to feel at ease I only really saw him semi-relaxed when he wasn't fighting and even then those were rare sites. He then said, 'if that's what you want.'