I stood in front of the hotel room door trying to gather the courage to walk in. I took a deep breath, ready to accept my faith and opened the door. There was no sign of Jason inside, which made me wonder if it was good or bad.
I walked in and as I did I felt my heart pounding of fear. I turned on the small light near the bed and almost screamed as I saw someone on my bed but I soon realized was Jason so I stayed quiet.
I quickly and quietly put on my pajama and got into bed.
"I noticed you arrived." I heard Jason say in the darkness.
"I'm sorry if I woke you up." I said hold the bed sheets as tight as I could.
"It's alright. I'm sorry for what happened earlier. I was stupid." He said putting his arm around my waist and pulling m closer.
"Let's sleep..." I said unable to say anything else. I could never forgive him.
Tears rolled down my face as I feel asleep.
We got to the beach about an hour ago and I've trying to find a way to talk to Sandra, so we decided to go for a walk and now that I finally have the chance to talk to her, it came to be harder than I thought.
"I hope you know I don't just want to walk." I said as I was sure Jason wouldn't hear us.
"I figured and even if you did, last night we didn't finish our conversation." Sandra said looking at me as we walked along the water.
"I did go to the hotel yesterday, that's why it took us so long." I admitted knowing she thought I didn't
"Oh..." Was all Sandra said, validating my thoughts.
"I knew you thought we didn't. We went to the hotel and Calum stayed in the car while I tried to convince Jason to come with us but he didn't want to come. He was acting it all up, said that it was ridiculous that I came here, that it was a waste of time because you're working and everything. Then he kept complaining that you've changed and that he doesn't like your friends... I shouldn't be telling you this." I said realizing it would be just one more reason for Sandra to hate him. "He didn't want to let me go last night."
"What do you mean he didn't want to let you go?"
"He wanted to be with me..." I admitted ashamed.
"And?" Sandra asked realizing what I meant.
"I didn't want to be with him. Lately I haven't felt comfortable around him. I don't know what's going on... If I tell you something, you promise to keep a secret?" In fact I knew why I was ashamed; I didn't love him like I did before.
"Don't you think you've exceeded your amount of secrets for this year?" Sandra joked, but I wasn't joking.
"I mean it Sandra, I don't want anyone to know, to be honest I don't even know why I'm going to tell you..." I said as we kept walking
"Because we're like sisters and you know I'll always keep your secrets." Sandra said quoting ourselves.
"Jason really wanted it and he... you know, he tried to get it." I giggled but I didn't mean it... It was a nervous giggle.
"What? He forced you to have sex with him?" Sandra stopped chocked looking at me like I murdered someone.
"Sandra!? C'mon... don't put it that way, I mean he didn't do anything besides he said he was sorry..." I said trying not to make it as serious.
"I cannot believe you're saying that! He tried to force you to be with him and simply because he said he was sorry you forgive and forget as if nothing happened. Do you even realize how messed up this is?"
"I feel like the tables are turning and our honeymoon stage is over!" I said taking a seat on the sand ignoring the fact that Sandra thinks I simply forgave him.
"Listen, as your personal shrink I think you're experiencing a case of falling out of love." Sandra took a seat next to me and offered a sympathetic smile. "Falling out of love can be even scarier than falling in love, because all the things you used to love about someone start to fade day by day and there's nothing you can do to stop it! It's like watching a scary movie, no matter how hard you scream at the main character, they always run towards the killer instead of running away."
"This is my entire fault! I'm the worst person in the world. I messed up, I dragged Calum into this mess, I dragged you too and your relationship with Luke is over because I keep cheating on Jason..." I rambled feeling desperate. I don't know what to do.
"Keep?" Sandra asked as I realized what I just confessed to her.
"See I can't even hide stuff from you... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I know you told me not to but..." I took a deep breath ashamed of myself. "We did it again, last night... When we left your house with Michael, we left him at home first and then we started talking and I confronted him with what you said about him liking me." Silence fell upon us and I continued not standing it. "He was embarrassed at first when I told him you talked to me about him liking me. But when I told him that there's something about him that made me feel a certain way... there was hope in his eyes. And it makes me feel bad because I'm leading him on and I just can't do that. But I just can't hold myself around him. Everything about him attracts me and I just lose my ground. He begged me to leave Jason and I said I couldn't..."
"Tammy I don't want to tell you everything's fine because, better than anyone, you know everything's wrong. You don't have many options, you've reached a point where you have to tell Jason everything and most likely break up with him or stop leading Calum on. If you don't know, you have to let them go, you can't expect to figure out everything while you're cheating a guy and giving hope to the other."
If only Sandra knew half of it she wouldn't say that. I'm at a dead end, I have to chose between being happy for a couple of days or stay safe and keep the ones I love safe. Who knows what Jason would do if he found out the truth? He'd make sure I'd see how the devil makes fire in hell if Jason found out.
"I'm days away to go back home. If I told Jason what happened that would completely ruin us. I know that everything will be back to normal as soon as we go home."
"What if it doesn't go back to normal?" Sandra said as we started walking back.
"Then I will make it go back to normal..." I said knowing that I'd break the promise I made to Calum, but at least I'd keep him safe.
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Stay | C.H. Fanfiction
ФанфикShe had a boyfriend... He didn't want a girlfriend... She changed his mind and he changed her heart... He asked her to stay... but she had to leave. This book is the story of Calum Hood and Tammy Anderson. Their story began on the previous b...
