Stay | C.H. Fanfiction

Chapter 20 - Tammy

Cecilia showed up at the hotel by half past nine and I was still asleep. I could tell her why I slept in but the truth is that I got to the hotel around four in the morning only to fall asleep an hour later.

When Calum called me last night I wasn't sure what to think or even if I should meet him. He drove us in silence until he pulled up in front of a park, it kind of reminded me of central park but way smaller, and that's where he started talking and I realized that I was hurting him by avoiding him and I shouldn't be doing that.

I'm scared with this whole situation and I feel like I let it get out of hand way too fast.

My relationship with Jason started out very sweet. We'd go everywhere together and he was really nice to me but this whole honeymoon stage lasted only for a couple of weeks. The "you look so beautiful" and "you don't need makeup to impress me" turned into "just put on a t-shirt and move your lazy ass" and "you look like a whore with all that make up on your face" and hearing that kind of stuff hurt my feelings no matter how much I denied it. I love Jason but he changed a lot since we started dating and I feel like I'm setting fire to a candle that constantly keeps burning out.

I remember when we went to a frat party together because Jason's friends where there too. It was the third frat party I ever attended and the first with Jason. At the time I was still taking my license and I couldn't drive so he drove us. We were having a good time until Jason started drinking, shot after shot, beer after beer, more than I could count and by the time we had to go home he was completely wasted and he was obviously not in conditions to drive us. I tried to talk him out of the idea of driving but he soon got aggressive and when I tried to get the keys away from him that was when everything turned south.

My check burned as I tried to relieve the pain while sitting on the ground in a lawn full of drunken teenagers who wouldn't even look at us.

"Get in the fucking car before I beat you up!" That was the first time I was scared of Jason.

I remember him pulling my arm and dragging my to the car as he got into the driver's seat. I prayed and prayed we wouldn't crash, kill someone or ourselves and I cried until the car finally stopped in front of his dorm.

We laid on the same bed that night but I didn't sleep at all over thinking the fact that that was the first time Jason hit me and that he could have killed us both or even someone else by drunk driving but by morning everything went back to normal after a thousand apologies and an hour of steamy sex.

The sun warmed my skin and the breeze was soft like summer rain and I feel like I'm in paradise.

"I wish Sandra wasn't working so she could be here with us!" I said to Cecilia turning my back towards the sun.

"Hmm hmm! But in a way I'm happy she's not because I wanted to talk to you about something that I'd rather her not to hear." Cecilia said laying on her back next to me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You know how I am and I'm not going to try to soften it out just for you so I'm going straight to the point! Why are you with Jason after what he said about Sandra and coming to Australia?" Cecilia asked me while I was off guard.

"Cecilia he has the right to have his opinion..."

"He said you were not allowed to come! Who does he think he is?" Cecilia asked spitting every word like it was venom in her mouth.

The truth is that when I told Jason I was planning to come to Australia with Cecilia to visit Sandra he didn't react very well, maybe because I mentioned that we were going to surprise her by just showing up and for that Luke was helping, so Jason tried to change my mind saying that if Sandra missed us that she'd come home to see us and after an endless fight Jason simply said "I fucking forbid you to go and that's it! If she wants to see you she'll come to see you." But I fought back and said that I was going and that he should stop being a selfish bastard.

That was the second time Jason hit me but that time, there were no apologies after.

"He said it without meaning it. I talked to you at the time because I was pissed off and I needed to talk to someone." I said choosing my words and biting my tongue so I wouldn't say too much.

"He looks at you like you're a fucking object, like he owns you or something."

"What's that supposed to mean? How do you even know? You've never had a real boyfriend! How can you even compare our relationship to something you don't even know?" I asked sitting up and looking at Cecilia.

In a way, part of me tells me she's right but the other part of me completely disagrees because most of the time Jason and I are okay and happy.

"Maybe I've never had a real boyfriend but I'm not blind. Look at Sandra and Luke...."

"Every couple is different." I said in matter of fact.

"You're right but Luke doesn't act like he owns her. He acts like she hung the moon."

I didn't know how to answer Cecilia. Then again, part of me tells me she's right but the other part of me completely disagrees because after all every couple is different.

"I guess I'm going to the water for a bit." I said as I got up trying to escape a conversation and end it at least for now

"Tammy!" Cecilia called my name and I looked back. "Listen, sorry if you think I'm being mean or something. I guess I'm just trying to look out for you and because I'm an outsider to your relationship I see things in a different way. I just never thought Jason was good for you or for Sandra."

"Don't worry, okay? Everything's fine." I said with a smile. "I'll be right back."

Is everything really fine? If everything was really fine I wouldn't have gone to bed with Calum or even had a make out session with him in his car on the side of the road.

Maybe nothing's really fine and the worst part is that I created it all by myself and I don't even want to think of what could possibly happen if Jason found out but honestly I don't want to find out. The truth is that he can only find out if I, Calum or Sandra tell him and I won't tell him for sure, Sandra promised me she wouldn't tell him just like Calum did, and for some reason I really believe he won't.

My feet touched the water and I forced myself to stop thinking about Jason and everything that has been going on between me and Calum and just come back to this piece of paradise on earth.