Stay | C.H. Fanfiction

Chapter 26 - Calum

I watched Tammy getting more anxious as the days went by and Jason's arrival got closer. I spent almost every night with her talking and driving around and sometimes staying either at her hotel room or at my house but we haven't had sex since the night she called asking me to go to her hotel room.

I swear that that night I wasn't going to meet her after our fight but then guilt took over me and I just couldn't leave her alone when she clearly needed someone. So that night I drove back to the hotel where she was and booked a room for the night. I paid for the overpriced room that I wasn't expecting to even see and instead made my way to Tammy's room. I promised I'd stay if she told me the whole truth but I had no idea what kind of reality was waiting for me.

I never thought I was any kind of "boyfriend material" or whatsoever but I would never lay my hands on a woman like he does to Tammy. I remember feeling my blood boil as she told me everything he's done to here and it killed me knowing she wouldn't let me do anything to help her. It hurts me that the only thing I can do for her is to be her distraction and make her feel good when we're together, not only when we drive around the city and talk about whatever comes to our minds but also when I'm in bed with her. I try to make everything about her because I know Jason won't do it.

But two days ago bad came to worse when during a late night coffee at an empty coffee shop I've realized that she made me feel different. Whenever I'm with her it's like there's no tomorrow, only tonight and everything is about living every second I got to spend with her. I realized I love the way she looks when I let her win every time we race to get somewhere, and the way she almost spilled her coffee all over me because I said something that made her laugh, and the way she always smiles eager to know where I'm taking her that night no matter if it's the beach or someplace where she can see the whole city. No matter what, she's the air I've been breathing for the last couple of days but deep down I know I'm running out of air and that made me realize the one thing I never wanted... I was falling for Tammy and I couldn't do anything about it!

So I did the unforgivable. I drove back to my dorm to get some stuff I needed but then Emily walked into my dorm. She was my roommate, Jackson's "adorable" older sister who kept hitting on me every time she was around. We fucked once and since then she kept coming back and as always she didn't gave up and I gave in. I ended up having a half naked girl on top of me, touching me and kissing me and I simply couldn't give her what she wanted because all I could think was Tammy and how Emily wasn't her. I had no physical reaction to any of her attempts and I ended up leaving embarrassed and leaving her high and... wet.

I drove back downtown and I couldn't help but to call Tammy. I needed to be with her, I needed to pour out my feelings for her and be there for her. I needed my special kind of air so I could breathe.

As soon as I saw her I couldn't help but to crash into her embrace.

"I need you Tammy. I know I'm no good but I need you one last time..."

I could see the worry in her eyes and the pain, and I was still selfish enough to ask her to be with me. She looked me in the eyes and nodded taking a hold of my hands.

The first time we were together, on New Years, it was for the sex but not this time. This time it was deeper than that. I needed to be close to her, I needed to feel like she was right there with me even though I knew her heart wasn't mine and I'd never have her like this again.

I remember tracing her body trying to imprint every little detail in my mind. Her warm and soft skin, the way her legs felt wrapped around my waist keeping me close and how her hands were always touching me, the taste of her lips as she kissed me... everything good meant goodbye because, forgetting the fact that she wasn't mine, there wouldn't be no more us.

I tried telling her the truth but I cowardly ended up saying "I think you're beautiful" instead.

That night didn't seem to end and I liked that. I remember thinking if I could have frozen that moment and stay like that forever, I would have done it but the heartbreaking truth is that I know she doesn't feel the same and her heart belongs to someone who doesn't understand how much Tammy's worth.

I stayed in bed thinking and over thinking every little detail about the past couple of days and how my world was turned upside down and I simply had no one I could talk to. I couldn't talk about Tammy's abusive boyfriend and I wouldn't dare talking to anyone about Tammy and I, not because of me, but for Tammy, after all she does have a boyfriend and she did cheated on him. I don't want people to say or even think things about her.

So all I had left to do was stay in my room with the memory of what we had and hope that I at least showed her she can't stay with him.