Stay | C.H. Fanfiction

Chapter 29

I barely slept tonight thinking about Tammy. I knew Tammy's boyfriend arrived yesterday but I had no idea what to think. I know exactly how I feel about Tammy even though I'm not sure how she feels about me, I know that Tammy and Jason relationship isn't exactly picture perfect but I'm not sure how bad it is.

For the last two weeks Tammy and I have been together a lot of times and in different circumstances, I'm hoping for the best but I honestly believe that Tammy won't let me near her from now on and that is killing me.

I've never been a guy who would talk much about his feelings but I never needed to keep anything hidden from everyone, besides this time things are different, my feelings for Tammy are different and I need to talk to someone. The first ones that accrued to me were the guys, but to be honest I couldn't talk to them. They knew Tammy for as long as I do and if I told them they would know that she cheated on her boyfriend. They're not judgmental, not at all, but when we don't know someone it's easier to judge them and the truth is that Tammy cheated and I helped her and no matter what, that is wrong.

I couldn't talk to the guys but there's one person I can count on no matter what happens. She can be a pain in the ass sometimes and we had our issues as kids like everyone else but I know she loves me no matter what and will support me like no one else will. Older sisters might be a pain sometimes but I need to talk to mine right now.

I grabbed my phone and called her and I let the phone ring until I was sent to voice mail. I called her again but the same thing happened but then I remembered and did the math. Mali is in London and right now in London is around 2 a.m., she must be asleep. I've always considered myself an impatient person and even more in a situation like this. So I texted the one person I knew that wouldn't judge Tammy, Sandra, hoping she'd agree to have lunch with me.

"Hey, can you come and have lunch with me I need to talk to you. Calum" I sent to Sandra but I only received an answer half an hour later, "I'm going to have lunch with the girls, want to join?"... wasn't the exact answer I was looking for..."I really need to talk to you without them around... sorry" I felt bad for keeping Sandra away from her friends but I need to talk to her alone. "Okay. Where should I meet you? I only have an hour and my lunch break is in 15 minutes."

I couldn't believe Sandra agreed to meet me, I feel like the weight I'm carrying on my shoulders won't be so heavy in a couple hours. "Thanks I'll meet you at the mall."

I made my way to the mall as soon as I received Sandra's text saying her lunch break was in fifteen minutes. I drove to the mall and as soon as I got there, I walked to the food court as fast as I could.

I stood by the escalators hopping she wouldn't take long and just to make sure she'd find me sooner rather than later, I grabbed my phone to text her but it wasn't necessary because as soon as I did I saw Sandra walking up to me as happy as ever.

"Hey! How are you?" I greeted her as soon as she met me.

"I'm good and you?"

"I'm good. Shall we get some food?" I suggested as we both walked to get some food.

"So you need to talk to me?" Sandra asked me as we sat down at a table where it was less crowded.

"I do, I don't want to talk to the boys because I don't want them to know so I feel like you're kind of my only option right now." I took a bite of my burger to make some time.

"Is there something wrong?" Sandra asked me clueless of what I was about to tell us.

"I did something I shouldn't Sandra..." I started admitting... And it was harder to admit than I thought it would.

"I know... Don't get mad at her Calum but she told me..." Sandra said brutally throwing the reality right to my face.

"Fuck..." I cursed not believing my luck. I guess it comes a day when the only option someone has is to be completely honest and I guess that today is that day for me. "I didn't mean it at first but now it's killing me. She's messing with my head since she first got here. I know she has a boyfriend and we shouldn't have done it but I really care about her since then. I haven't been with anyone since her, I just physically can't... unless I think of us together but then she's not there and I just can't. I want to be with her."

Maybe I should've kept my "little problem" from the other night to myself but the truth is that I couldn't and I spoke before I could think about it.

"You barely know her Calum. She might not be how you picture her!" Sandra said looking at me sympathetically and I knew exactly what she meant but that's one of the reasons why I'm here talking to her.

"That's the thing Sandra, I know her well enough to know I want to be with her and try whatever we can have!"

"What about Jason?"

"Who?"

"Her boyfriend, Calum. She cheated on him with you..." Jason... for a second I forget that he's the main reason behind the reason why my life is a mess right now.

"I know it sounds bad but I want her to leave him. I know I used to fuck around but I care for her I can be good to her." If one month ago someone told me I'd be saying this I would never believe them but it's true. I know that somehow and some way I can be good to Tammy.

"She's not indifferent to you, Calum, I'm not going to lie. I know her well enough to know she feels something but I don't know Calum." Hope... that's exactly what I felt when Sandra said Tammy felt something for me. It was the confirmation I needed.

"I wish I could just walk to him and tell him we had sex and that I like his girlfriend and he'd just let us be without killing me!" I said desperate. I just wanted Jason to know the truth and in the most selfish and ugliest way possible I wanted them to break up so I could have a chance with Tammy, a chance to make her happy.

"Please don't do that Calum. You can't do things that way..." Sandra said almost looking like she believed I would actually talk to Jason. Unless it's to hurt him as much as he hurt Tammy, then I don't want to have anything to do with him. "Honestly I don't know what to tell you... Tammy's going back at the end of the month besides she would never forgive you if you told Jason like that."

Only if Sandra was aware of what Tammy's going true. I wanted to tell her, I know it would be the right thing to do but Tammy trusts me and I promised her that I'd keep her secret. The last thing I want to do is break her trust, because it wouldn't be just breaking the trust she has in me, it would be breaking the trust she has in people.

"Do you think I could make her stay?" I couldn't help but to ask.

"I don't know Calum. I'm sorry." Sandra said looking at me. "Talk to her Calum. You guys need to sort thing out, especially about Jason." I knew Sandra was right, I needed to talk to Tammy and we needed to sort things out.

"I will, I don't want to lose her..." Even though she's not someone I could lose because we're not together in the first place. Tammy is with someone else.

"I never thought I'd see you like that, you know?"

"I never wanted to be like this but she... she makes me want to be like this just for her." I said even surprising myself for letting out my feeling like this. "Thanks for listening."

"We're friends, you don't have to thank me."

I walked with Sandra back to the store and there we said our goodbyes..

"Sandra..." I said before walking away. "Just one more thing... please don't tell anyone about it not even Luke. I don't want anyone to know."

"Sure!" She smiled sympathetically. "No one will know."